Perils Of A People Pleaser

Are you a “people pleaser?”

I’ll admit it.  I am.  In fact, I was hesitant to even write about the subject because I thought it might displease some people.  (I know.  It’s bad, isn’t it?)

I’m not actually thrilled about this aspect of my personality, but it’s a hard thing to change.

Now, on the one hand, people pleasers tend to give lots of consideration to the thoughts and feelings of others.  So, in that respect there are times when it can be a nice trait.

On the other hand, however, people pleasers often care too much about the opinions of others.  That can be a hard way to live.

Also, people pleasers inevitably run into the discouraging reality that we simply cannot please everyone, no matter what we do.  That has been a source of considerable disappointment to me.  But I’ve found that it’s better to come to grips with this truth sooner rather than later.

I read an article a while ago in which the advice of the author was, basically:  Screw other people and their confining opinions.  The main thing is to please yourself!

(He actually used more colorful language but I toned it down a bit.)

(Are you pleased?)

I can understand that there is a certain appeal to that way of thinking.  One of the problems, though, is I honestly do not believe that always seeking to please myself is the main objective of life.

In fact, I shudder to think how ugly things would get if I only sought to please myself in every situation of life.  Wow, what a disaster that would be!

As I ponder this matter it occurs to me that one of my great challenges in life, as a slightly embarrassed, but self-confessed, people pleaser, is to try to keep in mind this truth:  Actually, my main goal is not to please myself or to please others.  My main goal is to please God and then be alright with letting the chips fall where they may.

I’m working on it.