Constructive Thinking Rather Than Victimhood Thinking

Occasionally, I will be in a mood in which I catch myself thinking about circumstances in life which are unfavorable to me. It is not my nature to do this often but I will admit I do this once in a while.

If I do not notice this type of thinking quickly I can wind up doing a “woe is me” session in which I gradually attempt to convince myself…

“I’ve got it rough.”

“The odds are stacked against me.”

“I must not have what it takes.”

“I did not get the proper direction when I was younger.”

Or some other version of “poor me, I’m a victim of these hostile and unhelpful circumstances of life.”

As a pastor, I have counseled many hurting people and this experience has revealed to me that everyone has difficulties; rough moments of life; and some sense in which they have been victimized.

However, I honestly do not believe it is helpful for us to think of ourselves as victims. Again I understand that people are sometimes victimized by circumstances of life—some people, certainly, more than others—and some people have been victimized in such a way that they genuinely deserve significant help.

But to dwell on hardships, difficulties and obstacles and to convince ourselves that our victimization creates insurmountable limitations and prevents forward progress in life is simply not helpful. To define ourselves—in our own minds—as victims will not result in hopeful thinking; helpful thinking; helpful action; or real solutions. In fact, it seems more likely to lead to a passive, resigned sense of hopelessness.

As I wrote earlier, I have fallen into victimhood thinking on occasion and it has never resulted in any positive help. It is not constructive or beneficial.

I will admit this is a generalization, however, in most cases it will tend to be true: If we think we are a victim with no chance of moving forward, it is very likely we will be a victim with no chance of moving forward.

It will be better and healthier to think of ourselves as persons of hope, possibility and dignity, created in the image of God for a purpose. It will be helpful to think of ourselves as resourceful agents who are able to exercise free will and, with God’s help, able to make good, consequential, positive, helpful, constructive, imaginative, potent and meaningful choices.