Being Grateful

Sometimes in the give and take of everyday life I get grumpy and frustrated and I forget how blessed I am.

When I have some time to think honestly about these grumpy and frustrated moments it bothers me because the truth is that I am genuinely thankful for the wonderful life God has given me and I want to nurture a heart and a life which expresses authentic gratitude.

Most of the people I know—most of the people who will read this post—are extraordinarily blessed. What I mean is if we were to consider many of our life circumstances in light of the circumstances of a large percentage of people in the world, we are blessed with significant advantages and comforts in comparison.

I don’t raise this point in order to make us feel guilty, I raise this point in order to remind us to be thankful.

When I see in myself or others—those of us who have much—an attitude of ungratefulness it disappoints me. And to be painfully frank I feel like I’m seeing too much ungratefulness from people who should be incredibly thankful. Again, I see this ungratefulness in me, too, sometimes. So please understand, I’m not trying to pretend I stand above the fray as a beacon of perfection.

(By the way, I just looked up “fray” and it is a real word. And the dictionary says it is frequently used by people who are close to being beacons of perfection.)

It is interesting to know studies on happiness have found that being thankful tends to promote happiness. In other words, rather than thinking: “If I feel happy then I will be thankful about it.” It actually works better this way: “If I will cultivate an honest heart of gratitude happiness will follow.”

“Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.” 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

Our Facial Expressions Influence Our Feelings

Research has been done which suggests our facial expressions will influence how we actually feel.

This is somewhat counter intuitive because we tend to think feelings come first and then our facial expressions reflect our feelings. For example, if I feel sad then those feelings will result in a sad expression on my face.

This is not totally incorrect but the surprising finding is that it can work the other way, as well. In other words, if I intentionally put a sad expression on my face it will tend to result in sad feelings. Again, what can occur is the facial expression has an influence on the feelings rather than the feelings being reflected in the facial expressions.

“This experiment, and others like it, show that our facial expressions have as much effect on our feelings as our feelings have on our facial expressions.” From the book “Lift” by Prof. Ryan Quinn and Prof. Robert Quinn.

The findings of some of the research which has been done tells us that if we will intentionally put a smile on our faces we will tend to feel happier.

You might say, “Well la dee da, Cheerful Charlie! Guess what? I don’t want to smile and feel happy! Okay, Mr. Ray-Of-Sunshine?!?”

I understand. I’ve had some days like that, too. But keep in mind: much… not ALL... but much of what we experience will be greatly influenced by the choices we make.

Today, I’m going to try to think about smiling a little more often, on purpose. Seriously. I realize I do not have total control over these matters, however, as far as it depends on me—with God’s help—I want to choose to be positive, encouraging, happy and joyful.

It Is Important To Be Grateful!

I’ve had several conversations over the past couple of weeks in which the discussion very naturally turned to gratitude. I didn’t suggest the topic or force the topic it simply came up on its own.

When the topic arose, my friends communicated this basic message to me: “I’m grateful for certain things in my life.”

I recognize this to be a very good attitude on the part of my friends. In fact, in recent years there has been serious academic research on the subject of happiness and it is now known that being grateful increases a person’s happiness.

Want to be happier? Be grateful for the good things you already have in your life.

Gratitude improves happiness because gratitude involves intentionally noticing and acknowledging good, positive, beneficial things in our lives. It makes sense that noticing good things in our lives would increase our happiness, doesn’t it? Some of the books on the subject of happiness even recommend keeping a gratitude journal as a specific action a person could take to increase happiness.

Even when I have difficulties and challenges going on in my life, I do not have to think too hard to come up with many legitimate reasons for being grateful. I suspect that is true for you, too.

Most of us are very blessed. Have you noticed?

“Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.” 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

Van Troubles And A Happiness Theory

Rachel and I walked out of a store in Crestwood and jumped in the van.  When we turned the key to start it, however, I quickly got that unpleasant feeling I always get when it becomes obvious that the vehicle is not going to start.

It’s similar to the feeling I get when a doctor says, “We found something that concerns us…”

So, we called a tow truck and he said, “I’m on my way…!”

“…in about an hour.”

But, actually, he arrived about in about 25 minutes.  That was a pleasant surprise.

The van is now at our mechanic’s shop and he has not called to tell us what the problem is, yet.  But earlier today I posted a thought about choosing to be happy and wouldn’t you agree that it’s a bit ironic that my theory is being tested so quickly?

I mean, sheesh!!!  You’d think it would be at least a few days after my “happiness” post before I’d have to mess with stalled cars, tow trucks, and pricing estimates from mechanics.

Gratitude, Happiness and Thanksgiving

Dear E-Flash Friends;

What makes people happy? 

 

In recent years there has actually been a good bit of research—serious academic research—in the area of happiness.  When people are happy, what is that?

 

What has been discovered is that when people are happy one of the significant factors is gratitude.  Happy people tend to be people who experience genuine thankfulness.  You might say, to quote a Christian concept that I learned as a kid, they are people who “count their blessings.”

 

In fact, psychologists who try to help people based on this research sometimes recommend that the people keep a thankfulness journal where they are encouraged to take a few moments at the end of the day to write down things they are thankful for.

 

Today, we celebrate a holiday in which the focus is Thankfulness.  (And for some of us there is considerable focus, as well, on pumpkin pie.  But let’s put that aside for the moment.)

 

Are you aware of the blessings in your life?  Do you think about your blessings?  Do you have a real appreciation for the good things that God has given you? 

 

Real thankfulness will probably bring a little more happiness to our lives.  That sounds pretty good, doesn’t it?

 

I'm hoping that you all have a Happy (genuinely thankful) Thanksgiving! 

Remember that God loves you and that will never change.

 

May you experience God’s rich blessings!

Love,

Dan

When Are We Happy?

Research on the subject of happiness has discovered that people are usually most happy and joyful when they are engaged in some type of meaningful work or project in which they lose track of time and are fully challenged.

Growing Toward Maturity

“[God] knows that we will not ultimately be happy or fulfilled unless we are growing toward maturity in him.  So he continually invites us to set aside the temporary, immediate pleasures to work toward a long-term joy that is beyond measure.” --Alan Kent Scholes.

Happiness Apart From God Is Not There

Sometimes people are frustrated because they are searching for happiness without God in their lives.  C.S. Lewis suggests that such an endeavor is not possible.  He puts it this way: “God cannot give us a happiness and peace apart from Himself, because it is not there.  There is no such thing.” C.S. Lewis

Being Challenged Is Way Better Than Doing Nothing

In research that’s been done on the subject of happiness it’s been discovered that people tend to report being happiest when they are involved in an endeavor that requires a high level of attention and focus, and which challenges them in significant ways—and yet is not totally beyond their capabilities. For the vast majority of people this kind of engagement is more likely to result in happiness than sitting around doing nothing.

It's Okay To Be Blessed

Some people have a type of dread associated with being blessed, happy and joyful.  I know that sounds crazy, but it's true.  Apparently there is a universal human instinct which has been observed in many cultures that fears the possibility of cosmic anger and retribution for those who experience too much good.  

So, I just wanted to let you know that it’s okay to experience joy and happiness in the blessings of our lives.  God is not out to get us if we have too much fun.

No One Can Provide Complete Happiness For Us

When we love someone thinking, “this is the person who is going to provide me with complete happiness,” we put too much pressure on the person. We create a situation that’s bound to fail because no person is capable of providing complete happiness for us.  Realistic, honest expectations about our relationships allow them to be more free and healthy.