Rachel is “always right?” It’s an interesting theory.

 

The Dip Cone Adventure

I walked into a fast food restaurant and said, “Do you have dip cones?”

(Dip cones are vanilla, soft serve ice cream cones which have been dipped in a chocolate sauce which then becomes a hard chocolate shell. This is something God has allowed in the world simply to be nice to punks like me.)

The woman behind the counter said, “Yes we do.”

I said, “I’ll have a dip cone.”

I paid and then the woman behind the counter turned to a young man who was standing behind her and said, “Would you make the dip cone, please? I can never do those properly. They always fall apart on me.”

The young man turned and walked away without saying anything.

Then I waited and waited.

…And then I waited a little more.

Other customers were coming and going. The workers behind the counter were chatting and laughing but were not dealing with my order. I didn’t see the young man who was asked to get the dip cone.

I began to wonder if my order had fallen through the cracks and been forgotten about.

I waited some more.

Finally, the young man came from behind a wall with a dip cone. He looked at me, held out the cone, and said, “Here you go. And if you will hold on a minute and I’ll get your other cone.”

I said, “Other cone? I only ordered one cone.”

At this point a handful of workers all turned and looked our way. Their faces seemed to say, “What kind of horrific mistake has occurred here at this sacred place!?!”

I quickly said, “It’s okay. I just ordered one cone and I’ve gotten my one cone. Everything is fine.”

The manager was standing nearby, the crew looked at her and she nodded her head toward the others as if to say, “Stand down, folks. We’re all clear.”

I think this is the most dramatic ice cream cone order I’ve ever been a part of and it reminds me of an important truth: Properly dispensing ice cream is not something to be taken lightly.

Is That For Here Or To Go?

It happened again.

I walked into a fast food joint all by myself.  At the counter, I ordered over $18 worth of food.  This included a jumbo hot dog, a double-cheeseburger, a bowl of soup, a large order of cheese fries, some drinks and an extra-large pizza.

The clerk said, “Does that complete your order?”

I said, “Yes, it does.”

(Okay, I’m just kidding about the extra-large pizza, but I’m serious about the other stuff.)

The clerk said, “Is that for here or to go?”

At this point in the story I’d like you to pause and allow that question sink in for a moment.

“Is that for here or to go?”

I remind you that I was standing at the counter all by myself.  In other words, the clerk looked me over as I stood before her and thought there was a possibility I would stay at the restaurant, sit down at a table and eat this entire order.

I can’t wait to tell this story to my cardiologist.

Stretching At A Fast Food Joint

While Rachel and I were having lunch I looked over to the other side of the room and noticed that a man was going through an elaborate stretching routine.

This was not a situation in which he stood up and touched his toes a few times, this was two minutes of stretches using his chair and table as exercise equipment.

Please understand I don't think he was doing anything wrong and I suspect there are no laws or civil codes he was violating. However I think it's fair to say that what he was doing qualifies as somewhat unusual behavior. In all my years I have never before seen someone enter into a two minute exercise routine in a fast food restaurant.

At one point the man looked in my direction and noticed I was watching him. He then gave me a very angry look. He looked so mad that I thought he might come over and say something to me. In fact he stood up, adjusted his pants and took a step in my direction.

I thought, "Uh oh, now what's going to happen? This guy looks ticked!"

But fortunately, he didn't come my way. (I was rapidly trying to recall my years of training with Mr Miyagi.)

I'll admit I felt a little bit guilty about staring at him. But hey, firstly, I wasn't the only one looking at him. And secondly, if you launch into something like a yoga routine at a restaurant don't you have to expect that one or two people are going to curiously stare?

Yep, these are the kinds of small diversions that help keep life interesting.

What Did You Say About The Beverage Dispenser?

Rachel and I were sitting at a fast food restaurant today.  (Hey, it’s the first time we were at a fast food place since yesterday.)  Here is a brief snippet of our adventure…

Rachel:  [Noting that a kid has put his mouth on the Pepsi beverage dispenser spout.]  That boy is drinking from the thing.

Me:  What thing?

Rachel:  Over there.  [Pointing to a teenaged kid who was goofing around with some friends at the beverage dispenser.]  He was drinking from it.

Me:  He put his mouth on it?

Rachel:  Yes.

Me:  [Looking at my Diet Mtn. Dew.]  He had his mouth on the spout that the drinks come out of?

Rachel:  Yes.  That’s gross, isn’t it?

Me:  [Getting up to throw my drink away.]  Yes it is.

Rachel:  [With total innocence.]  Want me to get you another drink?

Me:  No.

*NOTE:  Don’t worry, I won’t post too many of these kinds of incidents, otherwise no one will go out to eat at anymore and they’ll close all of my favorite places.

By the way, can I get anyone a beverage while I’m up?