The Cardiologist Called

I went to the hospital a little over 3 years ago with chest pains. This was not the first time I had this type of experience. But in some inner sense I had a sneaking suspicion this time was going to be different.

I was right. It was different.

Tests revealed some fairly significant blockages in my arteries and I underwent a catheterization procedure to have a stent placed in the main artery in my heart. Then just a couple of weeks later I had to have another procedure. More stents were needed.

Apparently a strict diet of Doritos, Twinkies and Pork Chops was not a wise choice, after all. Weird, huh? Now, I primarily eat lettuce and once in a while for a real treat I’ll chew my way through a big pile of celery. (That’s for special occasions when I’m feeling wild and uninhibited!)

One of the main challenges of this time in my life was not physical, however. It was mental or maybe it would be more accurate to say psychological. (I’m not sure I know the precise difference between the two terms.)

When these medical issues happened I came face to face with this realization: I am getting older and I am going to die.

I know. I know. This realization is about as obvious as it gets, but it genuinely bothered me.

Oh, don’t get me wrong even though I can be a little bit slow sometimes I knew that the clock continues to tick and someday we will experience physical death. We all know that, even though some of us prefer to never think about it. When I say I came face to face with this realization what I mean is that these blatantly obvious truths became realizations for me in a new way. A more uncomfortable way. A more tangible way. A more present way.

I am not alone and that matters. Someone is walking through this with me. But these realizations of life can still hit us in ways which require a bit of mental adjustment.

In my mind, I always considered myself to be relatively healthy. In fact, I may have had an unrealistic overconfidence regarding my physical health.

My parents, who were overweight most of their adult lives, lived into their 80s (my dad almost made it to 90) and were relatively healthy into their 70’s and beyond. They went for years and years in their 40s, 50s and 60s without going to doctors. My brother and sister are—at least compared to me—relatively healthy. I assumed relatively good health was in the genetic cards I had been dealt. When all this occurred my understanding regarding my personal health took a big hit.

I did not like having to come to grips with the fact that I was dealing with such significant health issues.

I remember the first time I talked to someone after these procedures and I used the phrase, “My cardiologist…” Man! That really bothered me. It still bothers me.

I have a cardiologist?

How can a guy like me have a cardiologist?

What the heck is going on here?!? I’m not supposed to have a cardiologist! That’s for sick elderly people!!!

Ninjas don’t have cardiologists, they just chew on special, medicinal herbs based on closely guarded, ancient martial arts secrets once in a while and everything is fine.

“Where’s Kwai Chang Caine when I need him?!?”

About 3 months ago, I had another episode and ended up back at the Emergency Room. Another heart catheterization procedure followed and this time most of my major organs were removed and replaced with digital cybernetic parts. I feel fine but my friends and family have noticed I’m now speaking with a thick Austrian accent.

I’m writing this story because my cardiologist’s office called me about 25 minutes ago. “Mr. Marler?” the voice on the phone inquired, “We need to reschedule your appointment.”

“I’m sorry, who did you say this is?”

“This is Dr. __’s office. You know, your cardiologist.”

“Oh yeah, I have a cardiologist, don’t I?”

…Yep, things are different.

An Interesting Conversation With My Doctor At His Office

I had an appointment with a doctor yesterday and after we dealt with medical issues my doctor—who knows I am a pastor—began talking with me about matters of faith. This physician is a sincerely devoted Christian who is not only a highly skilled and respected medical practitioner but he can also speak very knowledgeably about Christian doctrine.

At one point, I was sitting on the examination table talking with the doctor about the implications for salvation which are revealed to us in the story of Jesus’ conversation with the thief on the cross and I inwardly chuckled as I thought about what was happening. I was talking with a certain measure of expertise—biblically speaking—about the condition of a man’s heart with a physician whose medical specialty involves the heart. (Of course, I was speaking of the heart in a spiritual sense and his expertise has to do with the physical organ in our chest.)

I thought, “Well, this is probably not the typical cardiologist/patient examination room conversation.”

As the visit drew to a close he said, “You’re doing very well.”

I stood, we shook hands and I said, “So are you, doc.”

We laughed.

Then I went to the cashier’s station at the office and saw the bill and I wasn’t laughing quite as much. In fact, I felt some slight discomfort in my chest.

(Just kidding.)

I did not intentionally select this doctor and seek him out based on a trusted recommendation. I am connected with him as a result of an emergency room visit to a local hospital. It all seems very random but I wonder: Is it possible God arranged for me to have a doctor who would navigate my medical needs with great competence and who would minister to my soul, as well?

I think it is.

P.S. I was told I had lost 3 pounds since my last visit to this office, in early June. I honestly do not know how this is possible. (It may involve the low-cal offerings on the Taco Bell menu.) I was fairly certain I had gained at least a couple of pounds since my last visit. Apparently God has rigged the scale at this office so I won’t get yelled at again.

P.P.S I’m not very certain about the theological implications of my “God-rigged-the-scale” theory. But that’s what I’m going with, for now.

Is That For Here Or To Go?

It happened again.

I walked into a fast food joint all by myself.  At the counter, I ordered over $18 worth of food.  This included a jumbo hot dog, a double-cheeseburger, a bowl of soup, a large order of cheese fries, some drinks and an extra-large pizza.

The clerk said, “Does that complete your order?”

I said, “Yes, it does.”

(Okay, I’m just kidding about the extra-large pizza, but I’m serious about the other stuff.)

The clerk said, “Is that for here or to go?”

At this point in the story I’d like you to pause and allow that question sink in for a moment.

“Is that for here or to go?”

I remind you that I was standing at the counter all by myself.  In other words, the clerk looked me over as I stood before her and thought there was a possibility I would stay at the restaurant, sit down at a table and eat this entire order.

I can’t wait to tell this story to my cardiologist.

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The Perception That I Like Sweets Continues To Grow

Today, at our second service, it was revealed during the prayer that I had been eating a donut in between the services.

You might be thinking, “That doesn’t sound like the type of thing that would be mentioned in a prayer.”

And you’re right.  But it managed to come up, nevertheless.  It is a little known—but very important—fact that the Donut Force is watching at all times.  They’re a lot like Santa.

Of course, this type of incident just serves to further the already-prevailing perception that I like sweets.

(By the way, this is a perception that my cardiologist is not aware of and I think it would probably be best if it remained that way.  Can we get a general sense of agreement on that?  Good.)

So, I was thinking about these events when, later today, one of the youth in our church stopped by the house with a Christmas gift for me.  The gift?  A homemade pecan pie!  He made it himself.

Is it delicious?  Oh, yes.  It’s fantastic.  [Thank you Ryan!]

…And thus the perception—for some odd reason—continues to grow.

Acing The Stress Test

I took a stress test today—it’s the test that involves walking/jogging on a treadmill—in order to determine if it would be medically sound for me to engage in a “cardiac rehab” program.

As I was being prepped for the test I felt that everything would go well.  But you never know how a test is going to turn out until after the test because that’s the point of taking a test in the first place, right?

Anyhow… immediately following the test my cardiologist came into the room to examine the results.  Speaking to the technician who administered the test, while viewing the results, I actually heard him say the word “wow!”  [No kidding.]

Then he turned to me and said, “You did great.  You don’t even need cardiac rehab!”

He didn’t literally mean that I shouldn’t engage in the rehab program he was just indicating that my performance on the stress test was very good.  Obviously, I will be entering into the rehab program.  But as you can imagine, I felt tremendously encouraged by his comment.  It’s nice to get some good news regarding my physical condition, these days.

By sharing this story, am I suggesting that I’m some type of amazingly strong, wonderfully fit physical specimen?  No.  Don’t be silly.  Of course not.  I’m just saying that my fitness level is fairly similar to Batman’s at the peak of his training.  But other than that, I’m not making any type of unusual claims.

Chest Pains, Near Death Experiences & Being A Smartypants

Recently I’ve been doing some reading and study on a topic that is referred to as Near Death Experience or NDE.  When a typical NDE occurs, the person’s heart stops beating and with no blood pumping the cessation of brain activity soon follows.  At that point, the person is dead, clinically speaking.  And conventional thinking within the medical field would suggest that the person would then have no consciousness of any kind.

In hundreds of case studies, however (actually it’s probably thousands) people who have “died” and yet been revived reported consciousness including extraordinary “afterlife” experiences during the time when they are clinically dead.  Some people believe that these NDEs confirm the reality of some type of life after death and others remain unconvinced.  But enough of these NDEs have been documented that we can now be certain this is not just the silly imaginings of a couple of odd people.

Last week, I was reading a book about one of the largest NDE studies that has been undertaken thus far, and several times, during the course of my reading, I thought, “it would be interesting to have one of these Near Death Experiences.”  The description of NDEs by those who have had them sounds amazing.

Yesterday, I experienced a mild discomfort in my chest that very quickly turned into a fairly severe pain.  I took some deep breaths thinking it would go away.  Hoping it would go away.  It didn’t.  I wanted to convince myself that “hey, this is nothing” but the pain was real enough and persistent enough that even though I wanted to deny it, I could not.

I began thinking, “Oh man, I’m probably going to have to go to the ER.”  If you’ve been to the ER lately, you know that death can actually seem, momentarily, like a more attractive alternative. 

(Okay, I’m just kidding, relax.  Can’t a guy joke a little?  It helps release tension, you know.)

As I was walking from the church to my house and the pain in my chest continued, the NDEs that I had recently been reading about came to mind.  I thought to myself, “Alright, Mr. Smartypants you were thinking it would be interesting to have an NDE, huh?”

And then I said to God, “Lord, are you going to give me one of those ‘be-careful-what-you-ask-for’ lessons?”

Well, I’m happy to report that I did not have a Near Death Experience.  (The closest I came to death was when my friend Greg looked at one of the numbers on my monitor in the ER and suggested to myself and one of the nurses that it seemed to indicate I only had 99 minutes left to live.  With friends like these, who needs… oh, never mind, you know the line.)

So, no NDE occurred and all of my medical tests indicate that I did not have a heart attack.  In fact, I was told that my heart is very strong and healthy.

What happened then?  What was the cause of the chest pains?  Well, they don’t know for sure.  But the cardiologist said to me, “Mr. Marler, when a person has such an extraordinary amount of muscular development, like yourself, sometimes the kung fu power in the muscles can cause a constriction in the chest…”

You know, I would go on with the cardiologist’s comments but I sense that I’m losing some of you.

It’s good to be alive!  And, as always, God is still good!

Love and blessings,

Dan

 *Sorry the picture's a little blurry.  This is 

shortly before the stress test.

P.S.  The good news is that I will be at church on Mothers’s Day.  …At least, that’s good news to me.  And I hope to see you, too.  “The guys” are leading the worship as a treat for the moms!  It’s going to be TERRIFIC!!!  And hey, I’ve got a great idea, bring your mom to church with you on Sunday and then take her for a lovely brunch following the service.  What do you say?  (And don’t forget to buy her a nice card and some flowers.) 

P.P.S.  I know that many of you were praying for me and I am so thankful for your prayers on my behalf.  I am TRULY BLESSED by God to have such wonderful friends!

Here's Greg right around the time

of his prognosis of my condition.