Swimming With The Sharks

Imagine an 18 foot shark lurking near the shore of the beach, in the very waters where you are swimming.  It’s enough to stir up powerful feelings of fear and dread, huh?  Well, I should know because that’s what happened to us, yesterday.  Really.  It’s true.

Well…okay…it’s true EXCEPT that the shark was more like one foot long rather than 18 feet.  But let’s not get hung up on minor details, alright?

We were at the beach in St. Petersburg, yesterday with our good friends, the Brunettes, enjoying the sun and the sand and the waves.  Well, actually we were only moderately enjoying the sand.  (The sand has an annoying tendency to get into everything.  In fact, I just titled my head a moment ago and some sand fell out of my ear….but that may have nothing to do with the beach.)  We saw a fisherman standing on the shore, pulling in a catch.  As the fish was reeled in from the water and became visible to us, I said, “Hey, that looks like a small shark!”

Quickly, a small group of people began to gather round the fisherman.  Convinced that it must be a shark that he had landed, I ran over to him, followed closely by Rachel.

Sure enough, it WAS a small Great White shark.

(I have no idea what kind of shark it really was, but I know people will ask, “What kind of shark?”  So, I’m calling it a “Great White” because it makes the story so much better.)

The fisherman was letting some people touch the shark and feel its skin because it has an interesting texture—sort of, like sandpaper.  So, Rachel and I both reached out and petted him.  I thought, “This is cool, I’m standing at the beach petting a shark that was swimming around in the same waters where I was just swimming!” 

(The whole episode would have been less cool if I would have encountered this little guy’s mommy in those waters.  But I’ve discovered that I’m extremely courageous about sharks when I’m standing on dry ground.  In fact, while I’m standing on dry ground, I’m inclined to say, “Come on, sharks!  Yeah, I’m talking to you.  [Shaking my fist.]  You don’t scare me you wusses!”)

The shark was opening and closing its mouth and I put my finger by its mouth to see if I could feel its teeth.  The fisherman said, “That’s probably not a good idea.”  *And as we both laughed, I noticed that he was missing several fingers.  Don’t you just hate the nerve of an experienced fisherman warning you not put your fingers in a live shark’s mouth?  Boy, talk about being a know-it-all killjoy, huh?

As the fisherman released the little guy back into the waters, I waded out, following him for a few moments **and that’s when I encountered his mommy.  We wrestled for a while and then I punched her in the snout and she swam away crying and whimpering.  “That’s right, you baby.” I yelled, bravely, kicking a spray of water in her direction. “Come back and I’ll give you more of the same!  I’m sick and tired of you bullies scaring everyone.”

By the way, I’m standing on dry ground as I write these words.

* NOTE:  He wasn’t really missing several fingers, but it just seemed like a funny thought, so I threw it in.

** ANOTHER NOTE:  Somewhere in this vicinity, a true story starts to become a fiction story.  My imagination (or is it “wishful thinking”) tends to get the best of me.  By the way, have I told you about the time I was running with the bulls in Pamplona…..?

The fisherman using needlenose pliers to remove

the hook.  I offered to take it out with my fingers,

the consensus?  "That's not a good idea."

Being A Fallible Human Being Who Makes Errors Is Not The Same As Being A Hypocrite

If a person truly does not believe in God but he acts like he does, for whatever reason, that’s hypocrisy.  Think of it as “faking it”.  However, if someone who really and truly believes in God falls short and sins, that’s not “hypocrisy”, that’s called being a weak, fallible, human being, who stands in need of a gracious God.  The difference has to do with the heart.  And only God knows someone’s heart.

E-Flash From Dan, June 29, 2010

Dear E-Flash Friends;

After tomorrow, we’ll be halfway through the year 2010.  You know what that means, right?  Well, for one, it means it’s definitely time to throw out that leftover spinach dip we’ve had in the fridge since the New Year’s Eve party.  (I’m pretty sure it growled at me, not too long ago.)

But it also means that those of us who have been faithfully following the Bible Reading Program that we made available at the beginning of the year have now read one-half of the New Testament.  Congratulations!  Can you believe it?  One half of the New Testament!?!  Good job.

I know that some of you weren’t using the Bible Reading Program that the church provided because you already had your own Bible reading plan.  That’s great, too!  If you have been spending time with God on a daily basis, all year, congratulations to you!

We know from God’s word, from common sense, and from research that has been done on the matter, that our growth in the Christian faith requires us to regularly engage in spiritual disciplines on an individual basis.  In other words, we need to be responsible to cultivate our relationship with God one-on-one.

There are things we can do, and need to do, with other believers.  There are aspects of our faith that are developed and cultivated in community.  That is a vital and important part of spiritual growth.  But people who reach significant levels of spiritual maturity are always people who take individual responsibility to develop their relationship with God on their own, in addition to what they get at church.

Are you engaging in your own private time of prayer and reading the Bible?  I encourage you to do so.

If you don’t currently have a Bible reading plan that you are following, I invite you to join us for the second half of the year in the Bible reading plan that many of us are using.  There are copies of the plan on the literature table in the lobby of the church.  It is printed on blue paper and it says “Bible Reading Plan” on the cover.  It looks like this….(I’m holding up a copy of the plan right now).

(Have I mentioned that sometimes I get easily confused?  Just nod your head if the answer is “yes”.)

You say, “Isn’t it too late to start the plan halfway through the year?”

No, absolutely not!  There’s nothing wrong with starting now, if you don’t have a Bible reading plan that you’re using.  Join us for the second half of the year.

One of the goals of the Christian life is to grow to become more and more like Christ.  It is my sincere hope and prayer that that transformation is happening in your life.

God bless,

Dan

P.S.  Don’t forget that this Sunday, and this Sunday ONLY, July 4^th, we will have one big, massive, exciting, celebrative, inspirational service at 10 o’clock am. 

*NOTE:  If you would like to have the E-Flash From Dan sent directly to your e-mail address just send an e-mail message to:  cog111st@aol.com       ...and write:  "Please send me the e-flash" in the "subject" field.

Sometimes It Feels Impossible To Do the Right Thing

It may be that unique and difficult circumstances push us into a corner and it feels impossible to DO THE RIGHT THING.  Have you been there?  This is an important time of testing and challenge.  And it is a time when we must draw encouragement and strength from authentic brothers and sisters in Christ; from the example of Christ, himself; and from the power of God’s Holy Spirit.

We Have Much To Be Thankful For

If we were to understand every good thing in our life as a GIFT from God—every good thing, whether it was large or small—that would tend to produce thankfulness in us.  “Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights…” James 1:17.  Most of us have MUCH to be thankful for. Let’s acknowledge that truth and open our hearts to gratitude.

Slowing Down And Spending Time With God

It can take effort and practice to learn how to slow down and spend time with God. It’s odd that silence and stillness are difficult, isn’t it? (What does our desire for constant aural and visual stimulation say about us?)  Being quiet with God is a spiritual discipline and so, it does not come automatically.  I’d like to report that I’m an expert at it. I’m not.  But I have discovered this much: it is worth the effort.

Wedding On The Beach

We attended a wedding on the beach, last night.  It was a beautiful summer evening as the waves rolled gently and the sun sparkled on the water.  The bride, Sharon, was stunning.  Joe, the groom, looked dashingly handsome.

As the ceremony began, the pastor called the guests to gather around closely.  This created a neat sense of intimacy as everyone present was standing within a few feet of the bridal party.  I liked the feeling.  It seemed like just the right touch for a wedding by the sea.

But, of course, the fact that everyone was standing closely meant that Rachel, with camera in hand, was standing right next to the bride, groom and pastor.  I mean that she was literally standing right next to the bride, groom and pastor.  Most of the time, she was closer to the bride and groom than the best man or the maid of honor—both of whom Rachel had instructed to move back a bit so that she could have her spot.

Because of the casual, informal nature of the ceremony, this was alright…until…well, until…she started making some remarks (Or was this a form of heckling?  Not really sure.) in response to the pastor’s comments.

That’s when Nadia looked at me and said, “Dan.”

This calling of my name means that it is now time for me to do something to correct this situation.  But removing Rachel from a comfortable spot like that always has the potential of being more disruptive to the proceedings than leaving her there.

Well, I moved into action and used a “diversionary” tactic that I learned years ago in ninja school and got Rachel away from the bride and groom’s personal space.  And the wedding, which was fairly brief, concluded a few moments later.  Everything worked out just fine with no major disturbances.

I should note that as I’ve been writing this story, something has occurred to me.  It has occurred to me that this concept of a wedding on the beach is an outstanding idea!  It’s fantastic.  It’s wonderful.  We might even go as far as saying that it’s pure genius!  In fact, I’m sensing a pretty strong leading from God, right now.  Yes, I don’t think it’s the caffeine from the iced tea I’m drinking, I think it’s a leading from God.

So, I, hereby, proclaim that all couples who are contemplating marriage, at our church, need to have your ceremony on the beach in southeast Florida.  Yep, that seems like it must be a leading from God, doesn’t it?  This, of course, means that you would fly your pastor down with you to perform the ceremony.  (That part goes without saying, right?)  And, I don’t mean to seem bossy—but remember, this isn’t my idea (cough, cough) this is a leading from God (more coughing)—so let me just add that an excellent time of the year for these weddings would be January, February or March.

Well, I think we’ve covered some important ground here and made some excellent decisions, don’t you?

Using Words To Build Others Up

Words can be used to encourage, and help others and build them up or they can be used to tear down.  Sometimes people say, “Aw, it’s just words, come on, don’t get so worked up about what people say.” But, actually, words can be quite powerful.  So, let’s opt for words that “build up”.  “Some people make cutting remarks, but the words of the wise bring healing.” Proverbs 12:18

The Seductive Power of Temptation

Temptation is seductive because the lure of temptation is often connected to some of the most powerful impulses and desires that humans experience: power, sex, prestige, wealth, self-exaltation. So, victory over temptation requires ruthless self-honesty; accountability to others—in an environment of grace; and, especially, the power of God’s Holy Spirit.

Jesus Prayed For You And Me

In John 17:20, Jesus prayed for you and me.  He did.  He prayed for: “all those who will believe in me through their message.” This was a reference to all who would ultimately believe in him through the message of his early followers—that includes us. So, if you like knowing that important people have prayed for you—and I sure do—how cool is it to know that Jesus prayed for you?

Teach The Truths Of The Faith

The early church leaders did not assume that we will automatically know how to live faithfully in God’s kingdom. They realized that a process of teaching and learning would be involved. So, we are instructed to intentionally teach the truths of the faith. This teaching is done through talking but, also, through example. “Prescribe and teach these things.” 1Tim.4:11

Accomplishing MORE By Doing LESS

Many people seem to be convinced that accomplishment comes from doing more things. But in a driven, fast-paced, stressed-out culture like ours, it is very possible that greater accomplishment can actually be achieved by doing FEWER things, but doing those things with greater focus, energy and excellence.

That Rat Sure Has Long Ears

Yesterday, as I was walking out of the sanctuary after the 9 o’clock service, Larry Houtchens, Sr. said to me, “There’s trouble.  We have rats!”

At first I thought, “Gee, that’s not a very kind way to refer to the church leadership.”  But then I realized he meant REAL rats…the rodent kind.  Apparently, one had been spotted in the building.

Well, a little bit later, the elusive rat appeared, but he had very long ears.

Let me explain…

While I was delivering the message—the heartfelt, tearful, deeply emotional Father’s Day message—during the 11 o’clock service, I noticed a little more activity than usual out in the lobby.  Pretty quickly, I saw what was causing the uproar.  A bunny rabbit was hopping around inside our building, near the entrance to the sanctuary.  As I continued talking, I thought, “That must be someone’s pet rabbit that was brought to the church today.”  But as I looked more closely, I realized that it was a wild animal, not a pet rabbit.

Other people sitting in the sanctuary began to realize what was happening and many folks were turning around to look, so, I just acknowledged the matter and announced to everyone, “We have a wild rabbit in the building.”

Now, we’ve had ducklings holding Bible studies led by Ann Heroldt out in the church courtyard.  And once, I accidentally baptized my dog Jasper, thinking he had made a genuine commitment to the faith.  But we don’t normally have wildlife in the sanctuary during an actual service. 

We’re a fun and informal church and we like to do some creative programming elements during our services from time to time, but we don’t typically have wildlife coming in for a moment of prayer during the worship time.  As far as I can recall, we’ve never had any elk or bison partake of communion with us. ….(Well, okay, there was that ONE really strange Sunday, but I’m not counting that one.)  But my point is that wildlife, in the church building, during a service tends to be extremely rare, even at our church.

But, you know what?  This event indicated something important to me.  Sure, we don’t have thousands and thousands of PEOPLE who attend our church, that’s true.  But the WILD ANIMALS are just itching to get in.  We are getting tremendous word-of-mouth buzz about our church in the animal kingdom.  So, I suspect it’s only a matter of time.  Yep.  Pretty soon we’ll have squirrels and coyotes and raccoons and ring-tailed lemurs in the services every Sunday.

Hey, this must be what it feels like to be popular!

So, anyhow: “Grrrr FFfffftttlll  ZZZeeee HHHHooo chechecheche!”

(That’s groundhog-ese for “Have a nice week.”)

  

P.S.  The bunny rabbit was caught, unharmed, before the service was over and he was released into the custody of Larry Houtchens, Jr., who served him up with a side of cole slaw later that evening.

P.P.S.  That comment above is just a joke, please don’t send me stern messages about my cruelty to animals.  I’m just kidding.  I love animals.  After all, I’m like the Dr. Doolittle of ministers.  Larry did not cook the bunny rabbit.  (He prefers possum.)

The Wonders Of A GRACIOUS Environment

It’s amazing how honest people will be with us if they know that we will be merciful and gracious. (Remember GRACE is goodness, kindness, forgiveness that is unearned and undeserved.) On the other hand, it’s amazing how dishonest people will be with us if they know that they will receive from us harsh judgment and unforgiveness.  Grace creates the environment for transparency and honesty.

An Incredible Man In My Life...My Dad

I was blessed to have a father who was a man of integrity, generosity, courage, and strength.  He taught me many important life lessons.  Most of the lessons he taught me did not come from a lecture or a book, they came from watching his life.  (Those are the most potent lessons.)  He’s gone, now, but on Father’s Day, I continue to honor an incredible man in my life, Luther Marler.

Peace, Tranquility And A Flat Tire

What is bound to happen the evening before you leave on a 1,300 mile trip?  Exactly.  A flat tire.

Taylor and I came back home from getting haircuts (it’s always best to do a dangerous mission like that in pairs).  And as we pulled into the driveway, Nadia was smiling and pointing at the van.  I rolled down the window and said, “What?  What are you pointing at?”

She said, “The van has a flat tire.”

I heaved a sigh and thought, “We’ve already had the unexpected storm hit before we left on the trip.”  The storm happened last evening and it wreaked a little havoc around our house and yard.  “Now, I have to deal with getting a tire changed and fixed tonight, as well?  What other unexpected surprises are going to happen?”

Just then a clown came from behind a bush and hit me in the face with a pie.

…Well, I have to admit that was definitely unexpected.

Taylor helped me take off the flat tire and put the small, temporary spare tire on the rim.  And we took the flat tire to a place to get it fixed.

They are going to have it ready for us tomorrow morning.

(By the way, for those of you who are keeping score at home, this makes two days in a row, now, that I’ve used tools.  Yesterday, it was a hammer and nails.  This morning it was some more hammer and nail activity, mending fences—which can be verified by Larry Houtchens, Sr., he was a first-hand witness.  And then this evening it was a lug nut wrench, a can of WD-40, and an office stapler.  I’m feeling incredibly manly.  ….A stapler is a tool, right?)

This kind of flat tire occurrence is a hassle and a bother but as I was changing the tire—in my driveway—I thought, “I’d rather be doing this here than on the side of an interstate highway somewhere.”  That’s the positive aspect of all this. 

Do you see what’s going on?  In my mind, I’ve taken a very laid back, philosophical approach to the matter, “Oh well, these things happen.” I thought, “Relax.  It’s okay.  It’s not a big deal.  The circumstances could have been much worse.”

Do you notice how calm I am?  Do you notice how the little things don’t upset me?  This kind of poise and grace comes with deep maturity and many years of walking closely with Christ.  I just keep rolling with a spring in my step and smile on my face.  I’m a picture of peace and tranquility.

Oh, but I did punch the clown.

Out Mending Fences...A Storm Story

I was “out mending fences” tonight.

You say, “Come on, Dan.  You’ve only held an actual work tool 2 or 3 times in your life.  You weren’t out mending fences.”

No, I was.  Really.  It’s true.  I’m sort of like an old cowboy out on the range.  I was out mending fences.  We had a powerful storm tonight and several sections of the fence around our back yard were knocked down.  Solid, 4x4 wooden fence posts were snapped off at the base.  That’s some pretty potent wind.  Also, large branches of trees were ripped from trunks of trees.  One large tree was completely uprooted.  And a house from the neighborhood landed in our backyard, right on a wicked witch.

Oh wait, I’m getting confused.  That last line is from another story that I heard somewhere.

So, with some help from Taylor, Eric and J.D., I propped up the sections of fence that had been knocked over, using pieces of wood as braces to, at least temporarily, hold the fence up and in place.

If you’re impressed, well, frankly, you should be.  That kind of work requires a keen geometrical sense, a bit of engineering savvy, and some manly power for driving nails into boards (occasionally done with the palm of my hand…and once, by accident, with my forehead…don’t ask).

According to the weather forecast, another round of storms are still coming tonight, so, I’m concerned that our fence mending work may be destroyed.  That would be a shame.

…Oh…uh oh…you know what?  Oh no.  Oh drats!  A bird flew by and one of its feathers landed on the fence.  The whole thing just collapsed.

I’m going to go read a book.

P.S.  It’s dark outside, now, or I would take some pictures of our fence-mending craftsmanship.  It’s actually pretty amusing to see.  And it’s impressive that no duct tape was utilized in the project.  Yes, you read those words properly NO DUCT TAPE was utilized.  This involved an actual hammer and nails.  (I’m still beaming with pride, just thinking about it.)  But I am posting pictures of the tree that was uprooted.

*NOTE:  This was posted on the blog on Saturday morning, but it was written and originally posted on Facebook last night.

We Can Be Thankful For What He's Done

We do not grasp the full magnitude of what Jesus has done for us because what he has done for us has infinite ramifications while our understanding is limited.  But even if we cannot understand FULLY, we can still be genuinely thankful.  Even though we are finite creatures, we can still offer authentic, whole-hearted praise and worship and thanksgiving to our wonderful God.

Do The Right Thing Anyhow

Sometimes when we do the right thing, the positive consequences are not immediately apparent.  In fact, it may be that we will never directly experience, in any significant way, the positive consequences of doing the right thing.  But hey, you know what?  Let’s be willing to do the right thing, anyhow.

E-Flash From Dan, 6/17/10

Dear E-Flash Friends;

I just saw the remake of the movie “Karate Kid”.  It was a tad long but, all in all, pretty good.  Although, you might want to take that positive endorsement with a grain of salt because I love movies involving the martial arts way more than the average person.

(I still have daydreams in which I step in to save a defenseless victim who is being bullied by hardened thugs and I beat up 6 bad guys all at one time.  In keeping with my faith, I then help the ruffians to see the error of their ways and lead them all to Christ. …It’s sort of a long complicated daydream.  At one point, we even take up an offering.)

I think the simple, but important, lesson of the movie is this:  If life is difficult and your problems seem insurmountable, win a kung fu tournament.  Boy, I just need to pause for a moment and soak in that lesson.  If you’re like me, that’s a truth that will sustain you for many months to come.

Speaking of Father’s Day….

(I learned how to make snazzy transitions like that in a creative writing class.)

…Speaking of Father’s Day, it’s coming up this Sunday, June 20^th.  This is the day in which we honor dads and thank them for all their love, help, encouragement, lawn mowing, wise advice, and support.

I hope you’re planning to be here this Sunday, 9am or 11am, we’re going to have terrific music which will glorify God and we’ll honor our dads, too.  Plus, I have a few neat stories to tell about fathers in the message I’m preparing.  In fact, in one of the stories I beat up 6 bad guys all at one time and then help them to see the error of their ways….oh wait…hold on…oops, my bad…that one has nothing to do with Father’s Day.

Well, I hope you’ll come, anyhow.  We really are planning to have a special day.  Really.

Hope your week has been a good one.

Blessings,

Dan

P.S.  If your dad is around, why not invite him to come to church?  We want to tell him thanks.

P.P.S.  If you would like to have the "E-Flash From Dan" sent directly to your e-mail, just send a message to:  cog111st@aol.com

And write:  "Send me the E-Flash" in the subject field.

Regarding The Past...? Let It Go

It can be healthy and very helpful to learn lessons from the past. But it is unhealthy to obsess about the past, re-living negative experiences, and continuously beating ourselves up for past mistakes. Ask for forgiveness from those you have sinned against if it is possible, and ask for forgiveness from God.  Then, trusting that you are valued, loved, & accepted by God…LET IT GO.

Let's Laugh More!

A friend said to me, “I need to laugh more. I’ve been too seriously, lately.” That’s a good insight. Laughter relieves stress, diminishes worry, burns calories, & it feels good [last I checked, it’s still ok to “feel good”]. I hope you have moments of laughter today. If your life is really hard, I hope you can, at least, chuckle at the absurdity of it all. “A cheerful heart is good medicine.” Prov.17:22

Is God Still Involved In Our Lives?

Some people think that the time of God intervening in the world in a miraculous way is

past. “We’re in a different era, now,” they suggest. But I don’t see anything in scripture that would tell us God has stopped working in this way.  I continue to pray for God’s activity and his miraculous intervention hoping, trusting and believing in the God for whom all things are possible.

The True Source of Meaning In Life

“There is nothing in the world…that would so effectively help one to survive even the worst conditions as the knowledge that there is a meaning in one’s life.”—Victor Frankl.  Frankl survived Nazi prison camps in WWII.  He observed that those around him who survived were those who could find meaning even in those horrible conditions.  The true source of meaning in life is found in knowing God.

Love Is More "Commitment" Than "Feelings"

When a person understands love to be defined by feelings and emotions then the focus tends to be inward. The key question is: “How do I feel?”  When a person understands love to be defined by a commitment to the well-being of another the focus tends to be outward. The question becomes: “How can I serve the person[s] I love?” This more closely resembles the kind of love Jesus taught and modeled.

The Mysterious Cell Phone Curse

Is it possible to be “phone cursed”?

Nevermind, that’s a dumb question.  I’m already sorry I asked it.  But I have had a string of odd problems and accidents with my cell phone and, frankly, I’m bewildered.

Last December, I accidentally dropped my phone into a cup of iced tea.  It was a freak occurrence that ruined the phone.  Although it gave the iced tea an interesting metallic flavor.   I wrote about it previously, you can read the story in my facebook notes or on my blog or you can come to my house and I will tell you all about it while you curl up in a ball on the floor and stare vacantly into space.

My nice phone provider said, “Oh well, accidents happen.  That’s alright, we can replace it.”  And they did.  For a small fee.  Call it a “man-are-you-clumsy” fee.

I was out of town when this happened and by the time I got back home I started noticing that the brand new replacement phone (same model) was having problems.  This was one of those types of phones that the user “slides” to open and access the keyboard for texting and the two halves of the phone that did the sliding literally began to come apart.

So, I went to the phone company and they said, “What?!?  You just replaced this phone a couple of weeks ago and you already want another replacement?”

I said, “But look at it.  It’s coming apart.  I didn’t do this.  It was malfunctioning when I received it.”

They said, “Okay, you’ve got a point…and you’ve got a lovely singing voice, too, so, we’ll give you a free replacement.”  And they did.

A couple of weeks ago, I noticed that the buttons on my phone were not always responding when pressed.  It was inconvenient but I just worked around it.  But then certain necessary buttons were not responding and it got to the point that I couldn’t even operate the phone.  With great reluctance, I went back to the phone store and they said, “Oh come on, not you again.  We just gave you a new replacement phone a couple of months ago!”

I said, “I know, I’m sorry, but look, the buttons don’t work.  I can’t operate the phone.  I didn’t do this.  It just started malfunctioning.”

They were kind and gracious again and they said, “Well, to tell you the truth, we have had other people reporting that same problem with this model.”  So, they made a few calls to see what they could do about getting me a free replacement.  And it worked.  They did get me a replacement.  Same model.

A few days after I received my new replacement model, I had loosened my belt and the phone, in it’s little carrying case, fell from my belt onto the floor in the restroom at Walmart.  Slowly and with great gentleness, I pulled the phone from it’s carrying case and saw that the screen was cracked.  The phone was unusable.  I was heartbroken.

Fortunately, you can get a new heart at Walmart with their “Everyday Low Prices”.

With my head held low, I went back to the phone store, again.  Well, actually I went to a different phone store—same phone company, but different store—because I couldn’t tell the guys at my usual phone store that I only had my current replacement phone for 3 days and I had already broken it.  They would have thought I was a bizarre nutcase (which is probably true, but not for the reasons they think).

The nice lady at the new phone store said, “You know what, we can’t provide a free replacement of this particular model because this is definitely a case of user error and because we don’t have this particular model any longer.”  She went on to say, “Apparently, some guy in the south suburbs of Chicago has broken a whole bunch of these and we simply don’t have any more of them.”

So, she showed me the most “indestructible” phones that they have and I chose a new “indestructible” model.

Hey, I’ve had this new phone for 4 whole days and I haven’t had any strange proble….uh oh…oh no…oh boy.   My neighbor’s pet boa constrictor got loose and found it’s way into my office.  It’s currently wrapped itself around my waist and torso and I just heard a cracking sound from my phone….or was that a rib?  I sure hope it was a rib.

They’re never going to believe this one at the phone store.  By the way, if my phone is cracked by a giant boa constrictor is that a manufacturer’s defect or is that user error?

We Need God For Life To Have True Objective "Meaning"

If we lived forever, but there was no God, life would still ultimately be absurd and meaningless. In fact, at a certain point, it would probably seem intolerable for most people. Philosopher William Lane Craig says, “…[I]t’s not just immortality man needs if life is to be ultimately significant; he needs God and immortality.  And if God does not exist, then he has neither.” 

Listening To Jesus

Sometimes Jesus’ disciples didn’t understand what he was plainly telling them. It’s not that they couldn’t grasp the meaning of the words and phrases he was using.  Rather, they were resistant because He was defying their expectations and long-held assumptions. Are we really willing to hear what Jesus has to say?  Will we listen even if He defies our expectations and long-held assumptions?

Real Love Involves Sacrifice

Real love, by its nature, involves an element of sacrifice. In other words, the one who loves is willing to give of himself or herself on behalf of the persons who are loved. This isn’t necessarily consistent with popular cultural understandings of love but it is consistent with the Bible’s teaching on love. “Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends.”—Jesus, John15:13

How Important Is Your Relationship With God?

Is your relationship with God the most important thing in your life?  Would it be the most important thing in your life if you knew that you were terminal and only had a week to live?  Here’s a thought:  You probably have more than a week to live, but you are terminal…we all are. Is your relationship with God the most important thing in your life? …Oh yeah, I asked that already, didn’t I?

If Love Is Not Returned...Continue To Love Anyhow

Sometimes we extend love to others and they do not receive or value or return that love. What then? We continue to love anyhow. When we extend love to others we, obviously, desire love to be returned. But the love of God in a person’s heart does not depend on love to be returned for its existence, it depends on God.  And God’s perfect love continues whether it is returned, or not. That’s good to know, isn’t it?

Reality Show: Ann & Kim, Duck Wranglers

For the past 4 years, or so, a mommy duck comes and lays her eggs and hatches her ducklings out in our church courtyard.  People have asked me why she has selected that area and I think the answer is obvious, isn’t it?  The mommy duck is concerned that her little ones get good Christian training early in life.  We’ve seen them out there having a Bible study a couple of times.  And just a few days ago, they were singing worship songs right around dusk.  It brought a tear to the eye.

This year, when the ducklings hatched, the mommy duck took off after just a few days and we never did see her again.  And people have felt bad about that, but it worked out just fine for the ducklings.  Oh yeah, believe me, this was a good deal for the ducklings because they have Ann.

Ann Heroldt takes care of our church courtyard and Ann adopted the ducklings and took care of them over the past few weeks.  She would come early every morning and check in on them.  She would put clean water in their little swimming ponds.  She brought seed over here for them to eat.  She would tuck them in at night and read them bedtime stories and change their little duck diapers.

But Ann knew that she had to get the ducks to some place where they could learn to be on their own in the wild because she could raise them, sure, but do you know what it costs to put 9 ducks through college?  It’s just too much.

So, on Friday morning this past week.  Ann recruited the help of Kim from our church. 

Kim used to raise ducks and every Friday night she does that thing where they catch rattlesnakes and milk the venom out of them—Kim knows the animal kingdom—so Ann knew that with Kim’s help they could do it.  They could round up all the ducks and capture them and milk the venom out of them and get them to a farm that Ann had arranged to take them.

Well Friday morning, there they were catching those ducks. 

Through an elaborate system of cardboard barriers ….

    

…and lids off of giant plastic containers and a couple of boxes and a big net, and some tunnels and trap doors…and a very small amount of tear gas, Ann and Kim caught all nine of the little ducklings.

Five of them were placed in this cardboard box. 

And four of them were placed in this pet cat carrier. 

(They really should have removed the cat, first.  That was a case of very unfortunate planning.)

And they all took a ride in the back of Ann’s car to the nice children’s farm where they will be cared for and when they are old enough, they will have a lovely pond that they can call their home.  A pond where the other critters have a nightly prayer meeting.  And there’s a grey haired pastor duck who gets confused about the facts when he’s telling stories.

So nice job, Ann and Kim…or as we like to call them: The Duck Wranglers

By the way, BP has contacted Ann and Kim and asked for their help with a problem they’re having out in the gulf.  They need a couple of people who can figure out how to get a

job done.

P.S. Those little ducks were really scared when Ann and Kim were catching them.  They didn’t know, they thought someone was trying to hurt them.  And now they’re in a new place and I imagine that they might be thinking, “Where’s Ann?”  She was their caretaker, their rock, their anchor point.  Poor little ducklings.

P.P.S.  We got a call at the church this morning and it was a strange quacking noise, but, listening carefully, it sounded a little bit like someone was saying:  “Where’s Ann?”

P.P.P.S.  Don’t worry, Ann’s going to go to the farm and visit the ducks.

Speaking Truth Gently and Lovingly

Truth is a very good and important thing. But the truth can sometimes be used like a giant club. People have been known to pound others with this big club and justify their actions by saying, “Hey, I’m just speaking the truth.” That’s why the Bible gently cautions us to speak the truth “in love”. It is possible to maintain a total commitment to honesty AND to do so lovingly. This is God’s will.

Get On Board With God Where He's Already At Work

Where is God already at work?  Do you see a work of God happening somewhere?  Do you see God blessing something?  Many years ago, I read this bit of advice:  Rather than coming up with some plans and asking God to get on board and bless them, you get on board with God where He’s already clearly doing something.  It seems like good advice.

What We Believe Matters

Recent scientific research and ancient biblical wisdom both tell us that what we believe to be true matters.  Here’s an interesting comment from Jesus on the subject of belief: “Everything is possible for him who believes.” Mark 9:23.  What we believe to be true makes a difference in many ways in our lives.  So, what do you believe to be true?

The Harder Things Get, The More The Church Grows

I was reading once again how the Church has thrived in China during extreme persecution. I came across a statement reporting that Christians in China withstood, “probably the most widespread and harsh persecution the Church has ever experienced.” And, yet, “the growth of the Church in China has no parallels in history.” It’s incredible, the harder things get, the more the Church grows.

To Really Live God's Way Requires Courage

When people speak of Christianity as a “crutch” for weak people, they reveal that they do not really understand what Christianity is. To really trust God and live the way He calls us to live is extraordinarily difficult and requires tremendous courage. A “crutch”?  For “weak people”? No. That’s simply not accurate. True Christian faith is not for the faint-hearted.  

Little Ducklings Never Had It So Good

Every summer for the past several years, a mommy duck comes and lays her eggs and hatches her little ducklings in our church courtyard.  For some time, I’ve wondered why this courtyard would be the spot that the mommy duck would pick.  Oh sure, the little ducklings get to know Jesus here—their knowledge of Scripture is phenomenal…for ducks—but still, the question has remained:  Why this location?

This year the mommy duck’s decision has made perfect sense.  (Yes, the mommy duck made an intentional “decision”.  If you’ll just go along with me, this will be easier and soon we’ll be done.)

It all makes sense now because of Ann.  Those little ducklings have been wonderfully loved and cared for by Ann, the woman who maintains our courtyard.  Ann comes at least once every day—but usually several times—to look in on the little ones.  She brings them food.  She cleans out their water ponds.  She fights off any lions or bears that get into the courtyard looking for the ducklings.  (They better not mess with her ducklings or they’re in a heap-o-big trouble!)  Ann has set up several swimming areas for them including a nice purple wading pool that’s located right next to the flat screen TV.

It’s been a few weeks, now, since we’ve seen the mommy duck.  When I tell people this they get mad.  They say, “She’s a bad mother.”  Or, “what’s wrong with her, leaving those cute little ducklings to fend for themselves, shame on her!”  And then they say, “Those poor little ducklings,” as a tear rolls down their cheek.

But I say, “No. No.  Don’t worry.  Those ducklings have a much better mommy than that irresponsible mommy duck.  They have Ann.  Believe me, it’s a much better deal for them.”

I can’t wait till their feathers come in.  It’s going to be cool watching Ann take them up on the roof and teach them to fly.

*NOTE:  By the way, if you have some free time later this evening and could come by and help, we would appreciate it.  Ann is having the ducks’ media center delivered and some of the boxes are pretty heavy.

Having Faith When Explanation Fails Us.

According to theologian, Christopher J.H. Wright, faith is not “intrinsically irrational” but faith does take us “into realms where explanation fails us….”   Where God gives us clarity, let’s rejoice in that understanding.  Where we encounter MYSTERY, let’s ask God to give us faith to trust Him, even when we don’t have all the answers.

There's A Time For Contentment And A Time For Dissatisfaction

It’s a good thing to be able to be content with the way things are.  The Apostle Paul wrote, “I have learned the secret of being content in…every situation.” On the other hand, it is dissatisfaction with the status quo that has fueled discovery, growth, innovation & progress. The challenge is to know when to accept things as they are and when to let dissatisfaction motivate us to action.