I used
to hope I would be an exceptional leader. You know, one of those “big time”
guys who people greatly admire. I convinced myself I had the right stuff to
lead thousands. In my mind, people would seek out my wisdom and advice because
of my insight, skills, effectiveness and overall “coolness.”
(I
know. Crazy, huh? I had grandiose ideas about myself. I’m laughing as I read
the paragraph above even though it is, frankly, embarrassing to admit.)
I have
come to realize—and it’s been very hard to accept—there are things the great
leaders can do that I cannot. There is a willingness, among the outstanding
leaders, to do some difficult things that I am too weak and fearful to do. To
be honest, I’ve blown it as a leader in some fundamental ways that are
incredibly humbling. It’s too bad. I had big plans for me. You would have been
impressed.
Now my
objective is simpler. It’s not that the ego and pride are completely gone. I
wish they were but it is genuinely difficult for me to stop thinking about
myself in lofty ways. (God is working on me, though.)
As I mentioned,
the objective is simpler, now. I would like to do what God wants me to do. That
seems like a reasonable objective, right? The problem is, I even have trouble with
that. (God will help.)
I’ve
tried to exalt myself and based on something Jesus said (Matt. 23:11) the
result is I have been humbled. The truth of this teaching from Jesus has been
made clear numerous times in my life. I’m hoping and believing a helpful lesson,
for those who are willing, can be gained from what has been written here.
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