Twitter Account Was Hacked

My Twitter account was hacked yesterday.  Please accept my apology for the inconvenience it may have caused any of you.  I have changed my password and fired the internet security team that handles my account (that would be Jasper and Goldie).  I was going to advise everyone to simply ignore any strange postings which might come from my account but then it occurred to me that might include some of my actual messages.

In an effort to set the record straight, I wish to publicly state that: 1) I have never made the claim to have been abducted by an alien race of Elvis look-alikes; 2) I do not hate all puppies; 3) I am not requesting that $250,000 be wired to a bank account to pay for my release from a Turkish prison;  and 4) I have never made any threatening or unkind remarks about UFC fighters calling them all a bunch of “pansy wimps.”

Thank you for your gracious attention to this matter.