How Long Does An Oil Change Take?

I pulled into the lane on the right and the attendant, using only hand motions, indicated, “A little to the left.  Okay, back to the right.  No, no, not that far.  Back to the left just a little.  Okay, keep coming straight.  Perfect.  Stop right there.”

I put the van in park and the attendant came to the window, “Oil change?”

“Yep,” I said.

He said, “The waiting room is right over there.  We should have you in and out in just few minutes.”

“Great.”

My daughter, Rachel, and I got out of the van and walked to the waiting room.

The “waiting room” was aptly named because that’s what we did.  We waited.

Five minutes passed.  We waited. Then ten minutes.  We waited.  Then fifteen minutes.  We waited.  I could see from my position in the waiting room that the car in the work bay ahead of mine was still up on the lift and being serviced.  And I could also see outside and knew that my van had not been moved.  It was still not being serviced.

We waited.

How long should an oil change take?

The word “express” is actually part of the name of this business!

How much longer will this be?

When will they even get my van into one of the work bays to begin servicing it?

What are they doing with this other car?  Rebuilding the entire engine from scratch?

These and other thoughts ran through my mind.  And… we waited.

Several times, as we were waiting, the attendant who appeared to be running the place walked briskly into the waiting area—which was also the office—to grab supplies.  When he came in he looked at me and smiled, shaking his head, as if to say, “Whew, we’ve got a tricky one, here.”

As he walked passed me, I raised my finger and began to ask, “How much longer do…?”

But before I could finish my question he was out the door and continuing his work on the other car.

Maybe I should just leave and come back later.

If I leave now, will I depart when they’re just moments away from finishing the other car and if I would have simply had a little more patience I could have this task completed?

Fortunately, I had a book with me and I was able to continue reading, but I noticed that I was feeling drowsy and the next thing you know, I actually dozed off.   That’s how long this oil change took!  While we were waiting, I actually fell asleep!  That’s too long for a simple oil change, right?

Well, after another session of dozing I awoke, and as I drifted back into wakeful consciousness I could tell that I had actually been sleeping.  In other words, this wasn’t a case of nodding off for a moment.  Oh no, I was engaged in full fledged sleeping!  I may have even been snoring.  Who knows?

But something felt strange.  Very strange.  I knew something wasn’t right, but I didn’t know what it was. So many things seemed unusual.  Trying to clear my head and think, I put my hand up to my chin and that’s when I noticed that I had a beard!

A beard?

What’s going on?  How do I have a beard?!?  I shaved when I got up this morning.  I couldn’t have grown a beard!

As I looked around the oil change shop, it immediately became clear to me that it was no longer an oil change shop.  It was a cell phone store.

Seeing me stirring, a young woman in an employee uniform and name tag gently approached and said, “My, my, we’re finally waking up, huh?”

“Who are you?  What’s going on?  Where am I?”

“I can answer those questions for you,” she said, “But first, you probably need to know that you’ve been asleep for a very long time.”

“What?  What are you talking about?”

Just then Rachel walked up.  I could tell it was Rachel.  I recognized her, but she appeared to be in her 40’s.

“Aaaagggghhhh!!!” I screamed.

And the scream in my dream actually served to wake me up to real life, once again.  There I was back in the oil change shop.  I looked to my left and there was Rachel.  At her normal, current age, looking at me as she listened to her Celtic Women CD.

“Boy, that was weird,” I thought.  My heart was pounding.  But I was greatly relieved and even a little bit amused to realize that I had awakened from an odd dream.

My mind was busy processing reality as the attendant came walking in the room with a big smile saying, “Mr. Marler, your van is ready.”

I looked at my watch.  Forty-five minutes for an oil change?  Are you kidding me?  This is outrageous!  I began to mentally formulate my scathing complaint, which I was planning to deliver at a serious level of volume and intensity.  But as I stood and approached the counter, I passed by a mirror and noticed that I did not have a beard.  And in that moment I felt a wave of relief.

With a smile on my face, I paid for the oil change and just let the matter go.

But next time, I’m going someplace else for routine car maintenance!