Why Do Leaders Sometimes Manipulate Those They Lead?

Why do people in leadership positions sometimes wind up manipulating the people they lead? Here are a couple of thoughts…

Sometimes manipulation occurs because the leaders genuinely think they know what’s best. And since they honestly believe they know what’s best they assume the manipulation is okay. After all, manipulation works and what is achieved through their manipulations will—in their minds—ultimately be what is best. So they rationalize that the manipulation is justified.

Sometimes manipulation occurs because leaders cannot generate enthusiasm, passion, interest and action consistent with their objectives through a truthful explanation of the facts of the situation so they resort to manipulative tactics. Manipulation will often work by taking advantage of strong feelings and emotions when the facts alone will not promote the actions they are hoping for.

Sometimes manipulation occurs because leaders have an ulterior motive. An ulterior motive held by a leader is, by definition, not something the leader wants to reveal. So, they attempt to achieve their desired ends by keeping the objectives hidden and manipulating emotions instead.

It is easy for leaders to fall into the tendency to manipulate the people they lead. Even good leaders are capable of doing this because there are forms of manipulation which are very effective and, frankly, can be easier to execute. So it is tempting to use them.

Good leaders, however, are honest and they relate with those they lead in truthful, mature, respectful ways. They do not view those they lead as dumb sheep to be manipulated, rather, they view them as people of intelligence and capability; people deserving of dignity and respect.

So good leaders make every attempt to refrain from knowingly manipulating those they lead. In fact, the approach of good leaders is to serve those they lead, in love. They provide guidance and direction through example. They cast a vision for a future that is good and right and would be better for everyone, doing so in an honest and forthright manner.

Jesus’ approach to leadership is represented—at least, in part—by something He said about himself which is recorded in the book of Matthew:

“…[T]he Son of Man [Jesus] did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.” Matthew 20:28

We're Pretty Good At Deceiving Ourselves

In order to live with ourselves we, sometimes, feel a desire to figure out ways to justify certain things that we’ve done, or maybe even things that we’re still doing.

Occasionally, when I observe people making their justifications I will think, “Are you kidding me?  That is such a flimsy excuse.  It’s obvious that what you’re doing is wrong and, in a sense, you know it’s wrong but you are desperately reaching for this weak rationalization to try to convince yourself it is alright.”

Then I shake my head and think, “Gee whiz, wake up! It’s amazing how people are so capable of deceiving themselves.”

But every now and then, when this happens, God will nudge me and this realization will come:  “Hey, you do this same type of rationalizing and justifying, too, Dan.”

If this happens to be one of those moments when I am willing to be very honest, I shake my head and think, “Gee whiz, wake up!  It’s amazing how I am so capable of deceiving myself.”

The Purpose of God's Laws: To Protect Us

Yes, God has rules or laws for living life.  But even though this can be hard for us to acknowledge, sometimes, God’s laws for living are not meant to restrict fun, or inconvenience us, or prevent us from the full experience of life. 

There have been times (too many times) when I believed that the best option for me involved a choice of action that would violate God’s laws.  I knew God’s way but I thought my way would be better, more fun, safer, easier, more pleasurable, more helpful to me, more effective, etc…

I have an extraordinary capacity for rationalizing the things I want to do.  How about you?  This is also known as self-deception; except when I’m in the midst of rationalizing something.  Then I know it as, “Gee, it’s amazing how smart I am!”

I have not arrived at some point of perfection, however, I have come to see that the purpose of God’s laws are to protect us and to protect that which is sacred.  I sincerely encourage you to take a moment to ponder this reality.  In fact, I will repeat the thought:  The purpose of God’s laws are to protect us and to protect that which is sacred.

If we will think honestly and carefully about this I believe we will recognize it as truth.

He loves us, He knows us better than we know ourselves, and He wants what is best for us.