Mitch "Harry" Jones, The Gecko, Has A Close Call

My niece Amanda has been driving over the past couple of days, with Michael and Helen, from Florida to Chicago. On Friday morning, Amanda, Michael and Helen pulled over at a rest stop in Illinois and when she opened the car door a gecko fell to the ground.

She did a double take upon noticing the little critter. “Huh!?!”

The poor guy was half frozen. He had been hiding in some space in the car door and had managed, somehow, to survive up to this point in time. They were astonished he had made it this far.

Geckos live in warm weather climates… (and prefer sandals to work boots). Amanda and her friends had already been on the road for hundreds of miles and many of those hours were in cold weather. How did he do it? Unfortunately, he wasn’t looking well and it was questionable whether he would even survive.

When he fell to the ground, Amanda said, "Oh my goodness!"

Initially, her traveling companions couldn’t see him and asked, "What is it?"

Amanda said, "It's a gecko!" And she picked him up.

"Is he alive?" they asked with some disbelief.

"Barely," said Amanda.

So she held him in her hands for a while allowing him to warm up. Then they got a box, poked holes in it and placed him in the box keeping him in the heated car.

They named him Mitch “Harry” Jones. I don’t remember exactly why but three names seems like a pretty sweet deal for a lizard, doesn’t it? Most reptiles are dying for even one name.

Mitch continued with them on the trip through Illinois all the way to our house, stopping a few times for McDonald’s drive-thru and an occasional decaf latte from Starbucks. (Geckos will usually try to avoid caffeine.)

When they arrived at our house, we found an old aquarium in the garage and Mitch is making himself at home. He appears to be doing alright. In fact, this morning they went out to buy him some crickets for lunch. (Jealous, aren’t you?) Just a few moments ago, Mitch looked up at me with thankful eyes and said, "I won’t lie to you, dude, that was a close call!"

I nodded my head sympathetically as I tossed him another cricket dipped in barbecue sauce. (We’re sharing.)

I’m not sure about this but I think there is a possibility Mitch might be part cat. If I’m right that would mean he now has 8 lives remaining.

Drive Thru Delay

I pulled up to the drive thru window and ordered my food.  Several cars were in line ahead of me and they were serviced in a normal amount of time.

After paying for the food at the first window, I pulled forward to the second window to pick up the order.

That’s when an unusual amount of waiting began.  At first, I reasoned, “Well, sometimes things happen.  So just relax, hold on a moment, and don’t get excited.”

But as the time ticked on I couldn’t help but look inside and I didn’t see anyone moving around.  I could see a couple of the cashier stations and they were not being covered by anyone.  I could see customers in the restaurant, but not workers.

I knew there were workers in the place because someone took my order and someone took my money.  As I mentioned, the cars in front of me were served in a reasonable amount of time. 

As the wait time increased, cars were lining up behind me and I could see the driver in the car directly behind my car.  He was looking at me and shaking his head as if to say, “What in the heck did you order?” 

I tried to give him a shrug and an I-don’t-know-what’s-going-on look.  But his body language and facial expression suggested to me that he wasn’t buying it.  He had determined I was at fault for this long delay.

But I had only ordered two items!  Two normal, popular items from the menu.  Nothing unusual.  (And the main item was a salad, so, don’t get upset that I was at a drive thru window!)

“What’s going on in there?” I thought, as I looked around for signs of life.

Finally, a young person came to the window and said, “Here.  Here you go.”  And practically threw the bag containing my order into the car.  Then, laughing, she disappeared from the window in a flash.

I glanced in the bag, verified that it contained my two items and pulled away.

I was puzzled but then I remembered the days when I worked at a place with a bunch of young folks and the adult bosses were gone.

As I recall, that’s when a lot of fun happened.

Identity Theft And The Snowman

As I trudged to the house through today’s winter wonderland, I thought, “Boy, this is great packing snow.  I’m going to do something I haven’t done in a long time.  I’m going to make a snowman!  It’s safe.  It’s fun.  It’s a little taste of childhood.”

I have to admit that I was proud of my creation and the experience reminded me that simple pleasures are, indeed, often the most satisfying. 

But then, a couple of hours later, I started to receive "security protection service" phone calls.  Sadly, we discovered that the snowman had gotten hold of a couple of my credit cards along with some of my computer passwords and he’s been spotted around town drinking iced tea, frequenting various Taco Bell drive thru windows, and buying dozens of expensive theology books with my cards.  (It should be noted that we don’t even think he can read.)

Police thought they had nabbed him while staking out a local Krispy Kreme donut shop but that just turned out to be a guy with a top hat who has a really pale complexion and an unusually orange nose.

He was last seen headed south in a rental car with a bunch of shifty looking characters the authorities have nicknamed “The Preacher Boys.”

I hope this will serve as a lesson to all of us.  I’m not sure what kind of lesson… but if we think about it really intensely, we should be able to come up with a lesson of some kind.

Dan & Vic Podcast for 11/30/12 -- Audio Podcast

Dan and Vic talk about going to the drive-thru and they deal with a spiritual question.  Join the fellows for a fun podcast!

              Click here for podcast!

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A Great New Breakthrough! The Doritos Locos Taco

Taco Bell now offers a taco that features a taco shell made with Doritos!  (That sound you hear is me laughing joyously.) This breakthrough is being viewed by all of the internationally renowned gourmet chefs that I know as a significant culinary advancement.

The item is called the Doritos Locos Taco.  Several of us had the Doritos taco at Taco Bell for lunch today and I don’t think you’ll be surprised to learn that we found it to be nutritious and tasty.  Amazingly, this food item is so healthy that it actually burns calories as you eat it.  Additionally, the Doritos Locos Taco improves cardio vascular circulation and heart function… and it gives your skin a healthy glow.

I recommend that you go right out to the Bell—the Drive Thru offers late night hours—eat 5 or 6 of the Doritos Locos Tacos and enjoy the tremendous health benefits it will bring to you.

(NOTE:  I know, it’s refreshing to get some practical, common sense health advice for once, isn’t it?)