Test...How Many?

Approximately one time each week—as part of my push-up work-out—I do a test to determine the maximum number of push-ups I can execute, non-stop, with proper form.  (I know, the level of excitement in my life is frighteningly low.)  I did that test tonight and the number was…..

Drum roll, please…..

Here it is….

I’m not kidding around, now….

Really, this is it…..

Thirty-eight push-ups!  Alright, sure, that’s a heck of a long way from 100 push-ups (the goal).  But when I started this routine I could only do about 20 proper push-ups, so “38” is progress.  I’m getting there.  I started the push-up routine in 1986, so, admittedly, the progress is slow, but, hey, progress is progress, right?

To reward myself for this progress, I’m going to Dairy Queen with Nadia and Rachel in just a few minutes and I’m going to eat a large triple banana split with extra chocolate syrup!  I’ve heard that dark chocolate is actually an extremely healthy food.  It’s loaded with anti-oxidants.  So, this is sort of like a cleansing and purifying ritual for my body.

Yeah…that’s right.  Sure.  Yep, this is like having a special health food concoction.  In the long run, this triple banana split with the extra chocolate syrup will probably BURN calories and cause me to lose weight.  You know what I mean?  In fact, now I’m getting nervous.  I hope this Dairy Queen treat doesn’t cause me to drop too much weight, too quickly.  That wouldn’t be healthy.

I’m glad you are all following this air-tight logic.  Because it makes perfect sense to me.

Okay, that’s my report.  Gotta’ run!

  

[*NOTE:  I’m just kidding, Paul.  We’re not going to Dairy Queen.  Actually, I had a salad for supper tonight.  Really.  I did.  See what a good boy I am?  ….I’ll tell you this, though, it’s amazing how much better lettuce tastes with chocolate syrup.]

That's right, your eyes are not 

deceiving you.  I'm doing one arm

push-ups the way Bruce Lee used

to do them.  Notice how helpful

Jasper is with this type of activity.

A Doctor Visit

I was being checked out by my doctor today and in the course of the exam, he said, “So, how are you feeling?”

I said, “I’m feeling good.  I’m feeling strong.”  And then, I told him, “Oh, by the way, I’m working with a guy at my church who is a personal trainer and he’s helping me train so that I can do 100 push-ups.”

My doctor had been looking down writing in my chart but when I mentioned ‘100 push-ups’ he looked up quickly with a startled expression on his face.  “Really?” he said.

(I should have told him that when the youth in our church do an impersonation of me that’s how they do it.  They say, “Really?!?”…in a very exaggerated manner—fairly similar to the way he just said it to me.  But I didn’t.)

“Yeah,” I told him, “I’m still relatively early in the training process, but I’m going to do 100 push-ups.”

At first, he had a puzzled look on his face, but then he broke into a big grin.  And then, he started laughing.  And he continued laughing harder and harder.  After a while, he stood up and walked out of the examination room, holding his stomach and laughing all the way.

….You know what?  I’m taking that as a hearty and enthusiastic “YES!” from my doctor.

Yep, I’m feeling strong!

This isn't really a picture of my doctor.

This is Dr. Leo Spaceman from the

show "30 Rock".  I thought it might

be best not to include a real picture

of my doctor.  He's shy.

The Question: Can I Do 100 Push-Ups?

“I go off on tangents,” I told my friend, Paul.

Frankly, he didn’t know where I was going with this comment, yet, so he just looked at me, waiting for me to continue.

“I had this idea a few days ago and I’m not sure if it’s a good idea or if it’s just another silly ‘Dan tangent.’”

Paul kept looking at me with no expression on his face, really.  He was waiting to hear what I was up to, this time.

I said, “I used to be pretty good at doing push-ups, a long time ago, and I was wondering if it would be possible for me, at age 51, to work up to doing 100 push-ups, non-stop.”

Now, Paul’s eyes let up.  Paul is a physical trainer and he is tremendously physically fit.  Paul is in the kind of shape that most people only dream of when they’re watching those commercials that sell the latest exercise equipment.  And this is the kind of thing he loves to hear.

“Is having a goal of doing 100 push-ups a good idea?” I asked.

“That’s a great goal,” said Paul.  He was smiling now.  And I think I could see the wheels beginning to turn in his mind.

“I can do about 20 push-ups with good form, right now,” I told Paul.  “What’s a reasonable amount of time for me, at my age, to be able to work up to doing 100 push-ups, non-stop?”

“For you, it’s going to take 2 to 3 years,” said Paul, soberly.  “And that’s if the whole project is accompanied by hours and hours of daily prayer and fasting, and a miraculous intervention of God’s Holy Spirit working at the cellular structure of your….”

Ha!  Just kidding.  Paul didn’t say that.  He said, “Well, you want to be careful to do this in such a way that you don’t get injured, so, I would say, 60-90 days.”

I was surprised. 

“You think, with the right training, I could actually do 100 push-ups, non-stop, in 60 to 90 days?” I asked.

Paul nodded his head and immediately began telling me what I should do for the first 2 weeks of training.

So, here I go.  I’m going to do this.  I’m going to embark on one of my tangents.  The goal:  To be able to do 100 non-stop push-ups, within the next 75 days.  Friday, April 30^th, is the target date.  That should be close to the time that Taylor is home from college.  He can wheel me around in a wheel chair if I pull something.  (Just kidding.)

Yes!!!  I’m fired up!  I’m excited, this is going to be great!

*The following was written about an hour and a half after the portion above…

When you post something on-line, there’s a point in the process where the entry has been typed and all that remains is one key stroke in order for the post to be published for all to see.  I’ve been sitting for a few moments, now, contemplating that one remaining key stroke.  Do I really want to make this public?  Really?  This is going to require lots of work.  Lots and lots of push-ups.  (And other exercises, too, according to Paul.)

What if I go through all this and when I reach the deadline, I can’t do the 100 push-ups…and everyone knows about it?  Hey, that’s a lot of push-ups.  It’s not easy, try it some time.  If I make this public and then can’t do it, that will be embarrassing.  People will point at me and call me a “girlie-man”…the whole time I’m delivering my sermons.

I could still delete this story, right now, and retreat back to safety.  I could call Paul and tell him I changed my mind.  I could explain that I had too much sugar again this morning, and I was on a mild insulin rush.  I could hold my back and talk about discs being out of alignment…or something like that.

Or, I could hit this one key—this key that’s staring at me, right now, mocking me—and force myself into this project. 

Do I really want to do this?

Do I really want to put this pressure on myself?

Should I have ever even mentioned this scheme to Paul Romano?  (Those of you who know Paul know that I may have permanently sealed my fate by bringing this idea to his attention.)

Well, if you’re reading this post, it’s obvious what I’ve chosen to do.  Wish me luck, there are lots of push-ups in my future.

“Our Father, who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name…”  Hey, a little prayer can’t hurt, right?  “Thy kingdom come, thy will be done…”