Does Shame Serve A Useful Purpose?

I have noticed that there are people who no longer feel shame when they’ve done something shameful.  In particular, I’ve noticed this among prominent people when they are caught doing something wrong. This inability to feel shame is not a good development.

Please understand, I am not in favor of laying guilt trips on people. I realize that guilt has been used in unfair ways to manipulate and control people.  This is not what I am advocating.

However, the feelings we experience actually serve a purpose.  Since it is genuinely possible for people to behave in shameful ways, it is not unreasonable for feelings of shame to accompany the shameful behavior.  In fact, we can even argue that feeling shame when we’ve done something wrong is normal.

Yes it’s true that feeling shame is unpleasant but, in a way, that’s the point.  It is possible for the unpleasant feeling of being ashamed to actually play a helpful role by influencing us not to repeat the shameful behavior.

If we reach a point as a society in which no one ever feels shame, even when they have behaved in shameful ways, we will find it is not going to be fun, free and wonderfully uninhibited, rather, it will be very dangerous.

Experiencing All of Life, Including The Difficult Feelings

We have a very understandable impulse to want to numb ourselves when we experience feelings such as sadness, pain, guilt, vulnerability and fear.  The problem with numbing these types of feelings is that when we do so, it leads to numbing positive feelings such as confidence, happiness, courage and joy, as well.  Part of learning, growing and truly living involves working—with God’s help—through the experience of all these feelings.