Getting outside of ourselves and helping others

Our difficult lessons can help others

Stan's talk at Anderson University

Stan Williams, one of my beloved roommates from college, spoke at our alma mater,

Anderson University today. Stan has ALS. He spoke candidly, without being sad or depressing, about what that means for him, including the fact that his remaining time has been considerably cut short.

Stan's talk was interesting, fun, wise, challenging, spiritually profound, insightful and, like Stan, witty. (Although, I thought it was in somewhat poor taste for him to take up two offerings.)

I am so proud of this man. He is living well and--this is important--he is thoughtfully, purposefully, meaningfully helping others, while he demonstrates to us--with God's help--how to end well.

[Note: I also appreciated the fact that Stan waited until after the big public talk to reminisce with other college friends, Debba and Jordan, about some of the more regrettable hijinx we engaged in during those fun-filled times a hundred, or so, years ago. Lol!]

Helping others because that's what Jesus did

Giving Room For Mistakes To Those We Love

Most of us have had the experience of seeing people we love make mistakes and wishing we could stop what was happening. We don’t want people we care about to have to deal with the difficult consequences of unwise actions. It breaks our hearts to see them in pain.

But many of us have also discovered that there is a process of learning, growing and maturing that must take place in life. And an unavoidable aspect of this maturing process involves making mistakes. We cannot learn to walk without falling down.

Hey, think about it: there were people who loved us and they could not prevent some of the mistakes they saw us making. In a very similar way we will not be able to prevent some of the mistakes we see people making.

I’m not suggesting we can never help or give wise counsel when we see people heading in a direction that will cause pain. If we can intervene and prevent troubles, that’s great, we should do so. But sometimes they will not be ready to hear our advice and we will have to endure the heartache, be patient and… pray.

Choose A Helpful, Productive, Joyful Response To Life

If we convince ourselves that being in a bad, grumpy, sour, sad, angry mood is something that happens to us and is beyond our ability to control in any way then we will be stuck with that conclusion. And we will be stuck with the effects of those negative emotions in our lives.

Research in the field of psychology, however, has revealed that we can learn to recognize, fight and overcome negative emotions. And in some particularly stubborn cases we can learn to function—even function well—in spite of negative emotions.

Two actions that can help pull us up are: Gratitude and Helping Others.

We have a choice in how we respond to what happens to us. We can deny this is true and understand ourselves to be victims but the life of victimhood is an ineffective, weak and diminished existence.

I admit I have not had to deal with some of the profoundly difficult circumstances some of the people who are reading this post have had to face. However, I still lovingly encourage us—with God’s help and in light of His mercy and grace—to choose a helpful, productive, joyful response to life.

It's Not Easy To Really Help Others

It is ironic that sometimes when we help people they come to depend upon us in ways that we cannot fulfill.  And then the very people we have helped become angry with us because we cannot be everything they want us to be.  It seems like helping other people would be a relatively easy thing to do but, frankly, sometimes it’s not that easy.  But we’re called to keep trying to help others, anyhow!

Ouch! The Chair Moved

There’s an exercise in which you stand flat-footed and then make a vertical leap onto a chair.  …In the spirit of helping others, I just thought I’d mention that it hurts a lot if you do this and the chair moves.

Serving Others Is Part Of A Well Lived Life

One of the important characteristics of a well-lived and healthy life is a willingness to see beyond our own self-interest and help others.  “Each of you should use whatever gift you have received to serve others, as faithful stewards of God’s grace in its various forms.” -- 1 Peter 4:10