I Was Close To Being A Techno-Hipster ...Just For A Moment

Two sweet little elderly ladies walked past my table at Panera Bread today.  One of them stopped right next to me, pointed, and said, “Look, he’s reading.”

I was holding my Kindle, which is an electronic reader.

The other woman turned with wide-eyed amazement and said, “Oh my goodness, look at that, would you?”

Very proudly, I showed the Kindle to them and described some of the features of it.  They “oohed” and “aahed” as if I had just invented the wheel.  In fact, while I was describing the Kindle to them, I felt like I was somehow responsible for the creation of the device.  I even used the word “cyberspace” at one point which is really sad because I don’t actually know what it means, but I’m sorry, I got caught up in the moment and they were very impressed.

A minute later they walked past me again and I was sending a “tweet” with my cell phone.  I mentioned that I was tweeting about my conversation with them and you would have thought that I was a time traveler from the future!  In fact, one of the ladies touched my shoulder—I think—just to see if I was real, or not.  (It’s also possible that she was just wiping some ketchup off her hand.)

It was cool!  For just a brief moment—with the over-80 demographic—I was very close to being a techno-hipster!  (I was even thinking about growing a goatee.)

Then 2 minutes later, an 11 year old kid walked past me, with an I-Pad or something.  I don’t know what it was, but it was much fancier and more state-of-the-art than my Kindle and my phone.

He looked sadly at my devices, as if they were fossilized artifacts from an ancient civilization and his eyes caught mine.  He shook his head with a smirk on his face that said, “You poor old guy.  Look at you!  You’ve got no goatee and you’re stuck way, waaaaaaaaay back in late 2009!”

Then, with a little chuckle, he climbed onto his hovercraft and flew silently out of the restaurant.

…Or maybe he just walked out.  I can’t remember for sure.

E-Flash From Dan, The Kit Kat Guy

Dear E-Flash Friends;

I get into routines. Always have. It’s just, apparently, part of my nature. I get into routines when it comes to eating certain things. Some of you know about my predilections toward Taco Bell, and Mountain Dew, and Panera Bread iced tea. These are the objects of some of the routines that I get into. (By the way, I am imaging, even as I type, the comments—at my expense—that some of you are thinking, right now, and I don’t appreciate it.)

I’ve intentionally made some of these less-than-flattering routines known because I believe that if I mention these matters and tease myself first, that will diffuse all the teasing that others would be likely to give me. That theory still hasn’t worked too well. But I’m giving it more time.

Sometimes I am confronted with my routines in ways that are slightly uncomfortable or even, perhaps, downright embarrassing. For instance, a while ago, I walked into a local gas station where I fill up my car. As I approached the counter, the attendant said, “Hey, it’s the Kit Kat guy! How you doing Kit Kat guy?”

I wanted to protest and point out to the attendant that, “I do not get Kit Kats every time I come into this gas station!” But, admittedly, my protest would have been somewhat weakened by the fact that I was holding two handfuls of Kit Kats as I was walking to the counter.

(Drats! Why are the wise guys in my life always getting the last laugh?)

By the way, I WAS NOT really holding two HANDFULS of Kit Kats, that was a joke. I was only holding one Kit Kat . . . . alright, maybe two. Three at the most.

In some ways, our upcoming SHIFT weekend will be dealing with the concept of Shifting from negative routines to positive routines. Positive routines in our thinking, in our behaviors, and even in our understanding of our past. Positive routines in our relationship with God.

Just want to remind you that SHIFT is coming up beginning this Friday evening at 7p.m., continuing Saturday afternoon from 1-5p.m., and carrying on into Sunday’s services. Hope you’re planning to be a part of SHIFT.

Many blessings,

Dan Marler


P.S. Here’s the daily “Facebook” thought I provided today . . .
Here are 3 simple words we don’t hear often enough from leaders in religion, business, politics, academia, etc.: “I DON’T KNOW.” When a leader is asked a question in a public setting it can be very hard to say: “I don’t know”, even if the truth is that you “don’t know”. I’ve been there. There’s a strong urge to want to appear to “know”. That’s why humble, honest, people—people of integrity—are so refreshing.


P.P.S. If you have a Facebook account and want to be “Facebook Friends” I’d love to “connect”.

Hey Look! I'm Operating A Hammer and Nails!

I can’t believe I’m typing this sentence, but here it goes . . .

I was out mending fences today, with my dog Jasper.

Those of you who know me well will need a moment to get up off the floor, having succumbed to shock. It’s true. I feel like a farmer. The guy who has never been inside a “Home Depot” store was “out mending fences” with Jasper.

You say, “Dan, what’s going on, how could this be? I feel like things are all topsy-turvy and spinning out of control—I’m suddenly very dizzy.”

Well, those strong winds last night damaged some portions of the fence surrounding our backyard, so, I went out with a hammer and some nails and I “mended” the fence.

Here we go again, some who know me well will have to get up off the floor.

You dust yourself off and say, “Wait a minute, Dan, YOU operated a HAMMER AND NAILS?!? You did? What’s going on? My world doesn’t make sense anymore! Dan operated a hammer and nails!?! How could this have happened?”

Well, I read one of those “For Dummies” books about operating a hammer and nails. (They’re wonderfully informative.) And after several hours, I figured it out and got to work on that fence. And I don’t mind saying things have been hammered together and secured quite nicely. The fence has been mended. It’s a pretty impressive job….if you tilt your head slightly to the left side as you look at it.

So, to all those who say, “I need to see a miracle before I can believe in God.” I invite you over to our backyard to see something that many people would put into the category of “metaphysical impossibility”: My completed carpentry work.

Here is the newly updated partial list of incredible miracles in this world:

The Resurrection
The Virgin Birth of Jesus
The Parting of the Red Sea
The Raising of Lazarus
Dan mends a fence
Sham Wow cloth

By the way, if you do come over, would you bring some smelling salts? Nadia and Jasper are both still unconscious, having fainted after seeing me with a hammer.

Oh, and would you stop at Panera Bread and get some iced tea? That’s not for Nadia or Jasper, I’m just a little thirsty after all that fence mending (and a couple of lemon wedges, too, please).