The Colors Vampires Wear

I just had a conversation with Rachel about the colors vampires wear.

I did not bring up the subject and, actually, I don’t recall how it even started.

The whole issue was surprising because I thought a vampire could wear any color but it turns out that is not the case. She told me certain colors “work” [that’s her word] for vampires and other colors won’t work.

This information was new and puzzling.

As the conversation continued, it occurred to me that I might try to wear some vampire colors—you know it would probably help me to add some striking or evocative qualities to the way I look and dress. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t want to be a vampire. But I think it’s high time for some personal flair… a little pizazz. You know what I mean?

But Rachel told me, “You don’t know how.”

“I don’t know how to wear vampire colors?” I asked.

“Right,” she responded.

“Can’t I just wear the colors?” I asked. “Isn’t that all there is to it?”

“No.”

So unfortunately, it looks like I will have to remain frumpy and unstylish.