Thinking Good Thoughts

Psychologists have identified a concept called "negativity bias theory" which maintains that we have a tendency to pay more attention to unpleasant feelings: sadness, fear, anger. Apparently-psychologically speaking-these feelings are more powerful than positive ones. Maybe that's why God tells us: "Whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable-if anything is excellent or praiseworthy-THINK about such things." [Phil. 4:8]

No Tears . . . Almost

We said goodbye to Taylor and left AU this afternoon. Nadia kept stretching the goodbye out from one destination to the next. But finally we ended up standing by the van and said a final farewell. As I pulled away, I noticed Taylor walking all by himself back to his dorm room. But you know what? No tears.

Then we began the 4 hour drive home. Nadia and I talked about the orientation experience and how we were feeling. We spoke philosophically about the changes that were happening and the nature of life. But you know what? A four hour drive home and no tears.

When we arrived at the house, I walked down into the "lair". Our basement, that Taylor had taken over and made into his own "pad". The lair where all the guys hung out. The place where often two or three nights a week, sometimes even during school nights there were guys spending the night. The place from which I could hear conversations coming when I would wake up to go to the bathroom at 3 o'clock in the morning.

I stood looking at the empty lair and bawled like a baby. Tears.

Nadia walked up to me and said, "What's going on?" When she saw me crying we hugged each other and cried. Tears.

Tears are therapeutic. Tears are good. I feel better now.

What Other People Think

There’s a form of bondage that I sometimes find myself in. It’s the bondage of wanting, too much, for others to like me. Have you been there? Jesus talks about dying to self which sounds unpleasant but, ironically, would free me from the self-inflicted prison of anxiousness regarding other people’s opinions.

It's Not "What Can I Get?", It's "What Can I Give?"

Real love is not exemplified by "What can I GET from those whom I love?" Rather, it is exemplified by "What can I GIVE to those whom I love? How can I help them? How can I serve them? How can I raise them up? Consider this: "Live a life filled with love, following the example of Christ. He loved us and offered himself as a sacrifice for us." Eph.5:2(a) Let's surprise people with real love today.

What Are We Sowing?

Here is an interesting line of thinking that I read yesterday:

Sow a thought, reap an act.
Sow an act, reap a habit.
Sow a habit, reap a character.
Sow a character, reap a destiny.

Let's commit to sowing compassion, joy, goodness, truth, mercy, peace and kindness today! Because that's the kind of character we want God to form in us. And I pray that we fulfill the good destiny that He has for us.

An Honest Search For Truth Is A Good Thing

An honest search for truth will involve hard questions, penetrating questions. Never fear that these questions are wrong. Don't worry that God might be offended by direct and difficult questions. GOD IS TRUTH. And that means that an honest search for truth will never offend Him or intimidate Him. In fact, an honest search for truth by an open, willing, genuine seeker will lead to God. See Jeremiah 29:13.

Alright, alright . . . For those who don’t have time to look up Jeremiah 29:13, here’s what it says, “You will seek me [God] and find me when you seek me with all your heart.”

Wisdom and Understanding

The Roman orator Cicero described "understanding" as knowing which things should be sought after in life and which things should be avoided in life. When I read that I thought, "Wow, just think of how our lives would be improved if we were very, very, clear on what we should be seeking after and what we should be avoiding." I'm hoping that we will all have clear understanding today. I could use it! How about you?

Leading By Example . . . That's What's Needed

This article originally appeared in the Southtown Star Newspaper, August 9, 2009.

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It is unfortunate, to say the least, that one of the most significant aspects of true leadership appears to be embarrassingly absent in so many leaders today, whether it be in politics, business, religion, education, or media. And this missing aspect is arguably the most effective quality of true leadership. The missing aspect is: leadership by example.

Where are the leaders whose lives will authentically show us what their many words seem to be indicating? I don’t think people expect leaders to be perfect; we know they are human. However, we are all looking for some consistency between words and actions.

For all of the talk about different values in our culture, most leaders of the key influential cultural institutions still speak passionately about the importance of certain fundamental values that most people—no matter their background or worldview—can agree upon; values like: courage, generosity, compassion, integrity, responsibility, justice, human dignity, honesty, freedom.

Are we seeing clear examples of these values being shown to us in the lives of the various leaders in our nation? I suspect I could guess how the majority of people reading this would respond.

The authority and influence that so many leaders in our culture yield is merely the authority and influence that come from wealth, or position, or the respect—fading respect—that some people still have for the institutions they lead. And this authority has been greatly diminished precisely because people can see the lack of consistency between the stated values and the lives of the leaders. Some of our political leaders are an extraordinarily sad example of this inconsistency between talk and actions. Their disconnect in this regard is shameful. But they are certainly not the only ones.

As a leader in a church I am acutely aware that the authority and influence and credibility of my leadership is very directly tied to the degree to which my life matches what I teach. I confess the need to do much better, with God’s help. One of my old friends used to say, “Talk is cheap.” That’s an uncomfortable truth for a preacher to confront. But it is true, nevertheless.

Philosopher, Dallas Willard, writes, “ . . . what we know of human nature seems clearly to indicate that insight on how to live can be provided effectively only by those who are prepared to lead the way by example. Only by showing how to live can we teach how to live.”

It is high time for more business leaders, religious leaders, political leaders, media leaders, and education leaders to courageously show the way.

Dan Marler
Oak Lawn, IL