I was
getting my haircut this morning and the fellow who was cutting my hair told me
that—according to a weather report he had heard—there was a possibility we
might be getting 48 inches of snow in this blizzard that is being predicted for
later tonight and into tomorrow.
He also
told me I would look extra cool if I allowed him to give me a mullet hairstyle.
(Apparently, the “mullet look” is making a comeback. Who knew?)
I quickly
did some calculations in my head and thought, “Forty eight inches!?! That’s
almost two and a half feet of snow!!!”
I’ve
gotten a little rusty when it comes to basic mathematics.
After I
realized my calculation error—and finished trying on the mullet wig—I was even
more astonished. Forty eight inches would actually be four feet of snow!
“Did any
of the really big snowstorms that have happened in my life come close to a
48-inch snowfall,” I wondered?
I didn’t
think so.
Fortunately,
all kinds of information is accessible via this technology I helped to create,
along with Al Gore, called the Internet. So I did a search.
According to a fairly recent article in the Chicago Tribune, the largest
snowfall in my lifetime—in the Chicago area—happened in 1967. I remember it
well. I was 8 years old and my parents along with the rest of my family were
vacationing in Hawaii at the time. Fortunately, they remembered to leave a snow
shovel, a six-pack of Coca Cola and some crackers for me.
In fact,
the blizzard of 1967 is the largest recorded snowfall in Chicago going back to
1886. Before then they did not keep records of snowfall totals but they did
keep very precise measurements when it came to how much chewing tobacco a
fellow needed every month.
So, if
the information my barber/hairstylist/mullet-ist heard would turn out to be
correct, this coming snowfall will be more than twice as deep as the deepest
snowfall we have had in over 100 years.
I hope
the reports are greatly exaggerated. But just in case, I’m heading to the
grocery store to get a six-pack of Coca Cola and another package of crackers.
Dan
Marler
Reporting
from Oak Lawn, IL
December
21, 2022
