Yes The Banquet Is Important But So Is The Dessert

I was the emcee, last night, at a fundraising banquet for the Southside Pregnancy Center, a wonderful ministry that provides numerous helpful services to people dealing with crisis pregnancy situations.

When I arrived at the event, I did a visual survey of the room and tried to get a feel for the mood, the ambience, the tone of things.  This type of analysis is purely instinctual, it’s not a science, it’s a feeling.  I quickly realized that a couple of my pre-planned jokes would not work. 

You say, “How do you know such a thing?”

I could tell.  Many years of experience have honed these instincts. The setting wasn’t right for my silly sense of humor.  The feel wasn’t right.  It wasn’t an issue with the people who were present, it was me and my goofiness.  I needed to make a couple of changes.

So, I reached into my pocket and then rapidly into one pocket after another and discovered something rare and bothersome.  I did not have a pen with me.  This was rare and bothersome because I ALWAYS have at least 2 or 3 pens with me…always!  Virtually everywhere I go, I have several pens with me.  It’s an old, faithful habit.  I feel strange—I feel naked—without a pen.  In fact, I typically have a pen with me even in the shower.  (In case I need to carve an important note into a bar of soap.)

For instance, a note like this:  GLAD I HAVE A PEN WITH ME

There I am at a banquet—with several hundred people in attendance—I have to take the platform in a few minutes, but I need to make some changes to my emcee notes, and I don’t have a pen.  That’s not good.

Fortunately, I was able to improvise a couple of jokes on the spot.  I know that sounds scary and frightening to some, but I’ve done this numerous times.

“How did the jokes go over?” you ask.

Nevermind.  Let’s get to the rest of the story.

At one point, later in the evening, I was on the platform doing my emceeing duties while the dessert trays were being passed around.  From my position on the platform, I could see that the desserts were being served and eaten while I was making my remarks. 

You might be thinking, “That sounds tragic, Dan.  Desserts are being gobbled up while you are on the platform!”

You are absolutely correct.  Fortunately, this is where, once again, years of experience at these types of functions become critical.  I shortened my remarks.  I improvised quicker jokes and I got off the platform as rapidly as possible.  But when I got back to the table I saw the dessert platter sitting on the table, empty.  A few random puffs of powdered sugar were spread about as a reminder of the treats that once filled the tray.

I had tried.  I moved quickly and efficiently.  I streamlined my remarks, literally editing on my feet, but I didn’t make it in time.  The desserts were gone and I hung my head thinking of what could have been.  I suspect some of you may be wiping away a tear, even as you read this.  Don’t be embarrassed.

But that’s when my daughter, Rachel, called out to me and held out one of the dessert cookies in the palm of her hand, with a big smile on her face.

“For me?” I asked, looking at Rachel’s face.  “You saved that one for me?”

She nodded her head.

My improvised jokes didn’t exactly bring the house down…but I got the dessert.  So, all in all, it was a good night.

By the way, one of the highlights of the evening was the talk by our speaker, Lila Rose.  Lila is an intelligent, beautiful, courageous, articulate, accomplished young Christian woman, who is doing incredible work as a Pro-Life activist.  If you don’t know who she is, I encourage you to do a Google search on her name and/or check out her web site:   http://liveaction.org/

Lila has already accomplished some remarkable and impressive things, at the age of 22!  (I was still trying to figure out how to tie my shoes when I was 22!  ….Now I’ve solved that problem by wearing slip-ons.)

Rachel was thrilled that we gave Lila a ride back to her hotel.  Rachel and Lila are pictured together below.