Here’s my plan: I’m going to eat very light today (Tuesday). And then I’m going to eat almost nothing at all tomorrow (Wednesday). THEN….THEN…I can eat with reckless abandon on Thanksgiving Day—“consuming mass quantities” as the Coneheads would say—and not feel guilty about all those calories.
You ask, “Dan, where did you get such a crazy idea, this time?”
Actually, this is a tradition with me (and by “tradition” I mean I did this one other time) and it works pretty well. So, I’m going to keep the tradition alive this year.
You say, “Dan, is this a special program that you have to “pay a fee” to be a part of?”
….Um…yes…yes…as a matter of fact it is…That’s right…yes…a…um…special program [looks quickly from side to side] …Sure, send your checks to….
No, I’m playing around, anyone can do this.
Here’s what you do: If you’ve already eaten today, that’s it. No more. You’re done for today. And tomorrow, it has to be very light. One baby carrot; a half of a handful of peanuts; and chew a very small amount of bark off of a nearby tree. And that’s it.
You might be thinking, “Wow, this is amazing! I’m impressed with this guy’s discipline and will power and his tremendous resolve. It’s really inspirational.”
What’s that? Sorry, I couldn’t hear you, I was unwrapping a Kit Kat bar.
…..Just kidding!!! It’s Tuesday, November 24, 2009, 5:02pm, as I write this note and, so far, the “Prep-For-Thanksgiving” Tradition (a one-year old tradition) is still alive!I’ll let you know how it’s going tomorrow.
[“Grrrrrrrrrrrrrr”…pay no attention, that’s just my stomach growling.]
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