The truth about VULNERABILITY and LOVE

Love Makes Us Vulnerable - Choose Love Anyhow

There are people who do not want to be vulnerable to pain or heartache and, yet, they also want

genuine love. This is not possible. If we love anyone our hearts will be vulnerable.

The alternative to love—and the vulnerability that comes with it—is to allow our hearts to become hard, calloused and cynical. This is a path we can choose, however, it will diminish who we are as people, it will diminish our capacity to be caring human beings, and it will diminish God’s authentic work in us.

To have a tender, caring, loving heart is an important part of what it means to be alive. To have a cold, hard heart is the onset of death.

I believe it is better to suffer some pain and some heart ache—even though it can be incredibly difficult—yet still have a heart that is open, tender, soft and caring; a heart that is capable of love. That means we will have to be ready to experience the pain and keep moving forward, anyhow.

We were created for life. We were created for love.

Happy Valentine’s Day, my friends!

Love Involves Risk and Vulnerability

If we really love others we are doing something that is risky and vulnerable. 

I know that comment seems cynical.  I don’t intend for it to be taken that way.  I’m simply expressing a reality of life.  There are risks and vulnerabilities involved in loving others because people are imperfect.  Sometimes we hurt each other.  Sometimes we irritate each other. Sometimes we misunderstand each other.  Sometimes we do things that make others genuinely angry.  More painful still, sometimes we extend love and it is not returned.

Followers of Jesus are called to go ahead and love others, despite the risk and vulnerability.  In fact, it’s strange to think that the most perfectly loving person who ever lived was executed.

“Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.”  Colossians 3:12-14

Experiencing All of Life, Including The Difficult Feelings

We have a very understandable impulse to want to numb ourselves when we experience feelings such as sadness, pain, guilt, vulnerability and fear.  The problem with numbing these types of feelings is that when we do so, it leads to numbing positive feelings such as confidence, happiness, courage and joy, as well.  Part of learning, growing and truly living involves working—with God’s help—through the experience of all these feelings.

Being Vulnerable And Living God's Way

If we live the way that Jesus calls us to live—if we love others the way Jesus calls us to love—we will be vulnerable.  This raises some questions:  Can we trust that Jesus knows what’s best?  Can we trust that living His way is right?  Can we trust that if we live His way, He will look out for us?  Consider this: Trusting Him and living His way—in spite of this vulnerability—is part of how we come to really know Him and experience the truth of His presence in our lives.

The Challenge of Speaking The Truth

In the Bible, it is assumed that, among followers of Christ, we will lovingly, humbly speak truth into each other’s lives.  It is assumed that, in the church, we will be willing to be open, vulnerable, and very honest with each other.  This is challenging to consider for those of us who live in a culture in which independence and autonomy are so highly valued.

Step Out, Be Vulnerable, and Grow

One of our key concerns in life is to protect ourselves—which is understandable and can be very reasonable. However, we have to be careful not to allow our desire to protect ourselves prevent us from stepping out and experiencing the fullness of life God has for us. “If you are not stepping out in some way that is VULNERABLE, you are not being stretched and are not growing in your faith.” [Cloud]