Is It Okay To Be Mad?

When something sad or difficult or bad happens, is it okay to cry?  Is it okay to complain to God?  Is it okay to be mad?

Theologian Christopher J.H. Wright writes this, “In the Bible…there is plenty of lament, protest, anger, and baffled questions.  The point we should notice…is that it is all hurled at God, not by his enemies but BY THOSE WHO LOVED AND TRUSTED HIM MOST.”

This is true and it’s an interesting thought to ponder.  The people in the Bible who offered up the most “lament, protest, anger, and baffled questions” were the people who “loved and trusted him most.”

I’m not trying to intentionally stir up feelings of anger toward God, far from it.  And, obviously, lament and protest toward God is something about which we should exercise caution.  However, I think part of what Wright is dealing with, here, is the issue of being VERY HONEST and expressing our REAL thoughts and feelings with God.  We could say it like this: Phoniness never works well with God.

Wright suggests that the Bible itself gives us the example and even the words to express our frustration and hurt.  He writes this, “It surely cannot be accidental that in the divinely inspired book of Psalms there are more psalms of lament and anguish than of joy and thanksgiving.”

Again, this is an interesting statement.  In part, this is interesting to me because I’ve never done a count of anguished psalms compared to thankful psalms.  I was surprised to read that there are “more psalms of lament and anguish than of joy and thanksgiving.”  I wouldn’t have thought that was the case.

Now, we know that the Bible also tells us, “…when troubles come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy.  For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow.”  James 1:2&3.  So these thoughts that I’m writing here need to be considered with the reality of these verses from James, and others like them, in mind.  There can be JOY and PEACE even in the midst of difficulty.  However, sometimes the truest reaction that we have to a situation may be confusion and hurt and anger and we need to know that the Bible acknowledges and clearly presents that reality among people of God.

Here’s one more thought on the matter from Christopher J.H. Wright.  It is a provocative thought, to me, and it offers something that is worthy of taking some time to really ponder.  I’m sharing it with you, in part, because I found it to be challenging and honest, in a bold way.  I hope it stirs your thinking.

Here it is….

“I feel that the language of lament is seriously neglected in the church.  Many Christians seem to feel that somehow it can’t be right to complain to God in the context of corporate worship when we should all feel happy.  There is an implicit pressure to stifle our real feelings because we are urged, by pious merchants of emotional denial, that we ought to have ‘faith’ (as if the moaning psalmists didn’t).”

“So we end up giving external voice to pretended emotions we do not really feel, while hiding the real emotions we are struggling with deep inside. Going to worship can become an exercise in pretence and concealment, neither of which can possibly be conducive for a real encounter with God.” –Christopher J.H. Wright

Again, I hope you will understand that I am NOT attempting to encourage bitterness or frustration.  I’m trying to give permission and encouragement for truth and honesty...this is always the path to AUTHENTIC encounter with the God who is truth.

God IS good.  This is the truth.  He is always gracious, loving, compassionate, patient, and understanding.  That means we can ALWAYS be honest with Him.  He is never, ever frightened or put off by the truth.  Even if no one else can handle the TRUTH—the real truth—about what we think and feel, believe this:  GOD CAN.

God always wants us to be honest with Him and it is in that honest encounter that our relationship with Him grows.