What's Going On With This "Aging" Thing?

I’m sorry. I apologize in advance for writing something this self-centered. It’s awful, really. My mind should be focused on more important things. I ought to rise above such petty matters and get on with issues of eternal significance . . . but I can’t help it.

The issue is this: How the heck am I aging this fast? Is there something in the water? Is there some vitamin that I’m supposed to be taking that I’m missing? Is this just a long dream and I’m going to wake up and find that I’m still 30, and have a good laugh about it all?

I’m actually mildly alarmed when I see pictures of myself these days because my initial reaction is always, “Who’s that old geezer with Nadia?....Oh, nevermind…”

I had it happen again this week. I went to a drive thru and the teenager at the cash register said, “That’s $7.25, but with the senior discount it’s $6.35, grandpappy.”

Alright, she didn’t really say the “grandpappy” part, but she did automatically assume that I’m eligible for the senior discount. This really happened, and it’s not the first time. What is this? I’m 51 years old and people look at me and assume I’m approaching 72, give or take a year. (Alright, if the lighting is good, I can sometimes pass for 68.) I went ahead and took the senior discount although I’m not actually eligible for it. But I rationalized that I should get the discount for being “insulted”.

I know, I know, that’s wrong. See? It’s getting bad.

I’m getting in the car and driving over to pay back the extra money I owe, right after I post this note.

You know what? That’s not true, either. I’m not driving anywhere. What a terrible web I’m weaving! Someone help me!

When I was in my late teens—and I wanted to look a little bit older, wanted to look more like a “man”—I looked younger than my age. Foiled! Now that I’m in an age category where I wouldn’t mind looking a little younger, I look 15 years older than I really am. Foiled again! It’s not right.

I know that some of you are very kind and you have compassionate and encouraging hearts and you will tell me, “Dan, I think you look good for your age. You don’t look old to me, at all.” And I’ll admit that does make me feel a little better for a moment or two. But when you turn to walk away and you point at me and burst out laughing, your kind words lose just a touch of their credibility.

You say, “Dan, is there any lesson in all of this or are you just rambling inanely like…well…like an old guy?” Yes, the lesson is that God has a great sense of humor and He’s utilizing it to try to help me be a little more humble.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to go look for my teeth.









*NOTE: I don’t really believe that God makes me look older just to keep me humble, that would make God rather cruel. I just wrote that to get a little laugh. In fact, this whole thing is an only SLIGHTLY TRUE piece of humor designed to give folks a chuckle. I hope you did . . . did laugh, that is. “A cheerful heart is good medicine . . .” Prov. 17:22