How much snow?!? I hope that's an exaggeration!

I was getting my haircut this morning and the fellow who was cutting my hair told me that—according to a weather report he had heard—there was a possibility we might be getting 48 inches of snow in this blizzard that is being predicted for later tonight and into tomorrow.

He also told me I would look extra cool if I allowed him to give me a mullet hairstyle. (Apparently, the “mullet look” is making a comeback. Who knew?)

I quickly did some calculations in my head and thought, “Forty eight inches!?! That’s almost two and a half feet of snow!!!”

I’ve gotten a little rusty when it comes to basic mathematics.

After I realized my calculation error—and finished trying on the mullet wig—I was even more astonished. Forty eight inches would actually be four feet of snow!

“Did any of the really big snowstorms that have happened in my life come close to a 48-inch snowfall,” I wondered?

I didn’t think so.

Fortunately, all kinds of information is accessible via this technology I helped to create, along with Al Gore, called the Internet. So I did a search.

According to a fairly recent article in the Chicago Tribune, the largest snowfall in my lifetime—in the Chicago area—happened in 1967. I remember it well. I was 8 years old and my parents along with the rest of my family were vacationing in Hawaii at the time. Fortunately, they remembered to leave a snow shovel, a six-pack of Coca Cola and some crackers for me.

In fact, the blizzard of 1967 is the largest recorded snowfall in Chicago going back to 1886. Before then they did not keep records of snowfall totals but they did keep very precise measurements when it came to how much chewing tobacco a fellow needed every month.

So, if the information my barber/hairstylist/mullet-ist heard would turn out to be correct, this coming snowfall will be more than twice as deep as the deepest snowfall we have had in over 100 years.

I hope the reports are greatly exaggerated. But just in case, I’m heading to the grocery store to get a six-pack of Coca Cola and another package of crackers.

Dan Marler

Reporting from Oak Lawn, IL

December 21, 2022