I Didn't Intend To Frighten The Clerk

I just took my daughter, Rachel, to Blockbuster Video because she absolutely had to get a video game otherwise the prison-like boredom of our home would have been too much for her to survive.  On the way to Blockbuster, the song, “Bohemian Rhapsody”, by Queen, came on the radio and, caught up in a burst of inspiration, I performed the entire song, along with the radio, as it played.

It was magnificent rendering, even if I have to say so myself.  For those of you who are familiar with the song, you will know that it has many vocal parts layered on top of each other with vocal counter-point parts and even splashes of the German language.  I delivered the tune moving seamlessly from one vocal part to the next, gesturing at precise moments to indicate the cues of certain instrumentation and changes in “feel” as the song moves from one section to the next.  My guess is that hundreds, perhaps thousands, of people would have gladly offered substantial sums of their hard earned cash to witness this extraordinary display of musical virtuosity.

But as we pulled into the parking space at Blockbuster, Rachel said, “whatever” and jumped out of the car, right as we came to the end of the song.  Sadly, she didn’t even get to hear me sing the final line. 

(I’ll pause for a moment while you wipe away a tear…)

Since I was in a silly mood, I decided to share my tale of unappreciated musical talent with the two young women working the counter at the store.  As Rachel and I stepped to the counter to check out, I said to the clerk, “Do you know the song ‘Bohemian Rhapsody’ by Queen?”

Looking at me suspiciously, she said, “I think I do.”

With a big smile, I said, “I just performed the entire song for my daughter on the way over here and [with mock sadness] she didn’t appreciate it at all.”

I waited, expectantly, for her to laugh.  But the young woman looked at me—no kidding—with an expression of total fear.  There was literally fear on her face!  Apparently, she didn’t sense that I was joking around.  So, when I realized that my attempt at humor had actually somehow frightened her—I don’t know why it frightened her, but it did—I tried to help her understand that I was merely teasing.

“Sometimes I act sort of silly.  You know how that is, right?”

She didn’t answer.  But now she looked at me like I was, perhaps, one of the oddest people she had ever encountered in her life.  Then she cast a glance at her co-worker, who was listening to our exchange, and the two of them shook their heads as if to say, “we definitely need to have a tighter security system in this place.”

Have I really gotten to the place where my very presence actually frightens young people?

She quickly retrieved the game that we were renting and rung up the purchase, all the while being careful not to make eye contact with me.

As we walked out the door, I said, “Well, have a good day.”

But both clerks were already in the back room of the store—firearms in hand, no doubt—with the door locked.

On the drive home, I sang two other songs, but my heart wasn’t in it and, I admit, the performances were somewhat flat and lacking in passion.

Rachel simply maintained one of those “when-will-you-ever-learn?” looks on her face for the entire ride.