Sunday, August 31, 2014

Rachel Calls About Jasper's Eye

While we were at lunch, today, my phone rang. It was Rachel. She seemed to be having a hard time communicating.  I put her on speaker phone so that Nadia could listen to what she was saying, also.

I said, “What do you want, Rachel?”

She said, “Lucy bit off Jasper’s eye.”

Nadia and I looked at each other with a mixture of shock and surprise.

Our puppy, Lucy, has lots of energy, like most puppies. She is also sort of aggressive when she plays with our other dog, Jasper. Jasper is much bigger and stronger than Lucy, so, we never imagined that Lucy could actually injure Jasper.

My mind was racing, “What can we do? Is Rachel able to do something to help Jasper until we can hurry home? Just how badly has Jasper been injured?”

Nadia asked her, “Is Jasper bleeding?”

But Rachel was not responding. She was probably trying to put her thoughts together so that she could express them.

That’s when it suddenly it occurred to me. Rachel was talking about her stuffed animal, Jasper.

Nadia was still trying to figure out what we could do. I said to Nadia, “Rachel is not talking about Jasper, she’s talking about Jasper… I mean the other Jasper, her stuffed animal.”

“Are you talking about your stuffed animal, Rachel?” Nadia asked.

“Yes.” Rachel said.

We both breathed a sigh of relief.

I’m glad to report that the living, breathing Jasper is okay. The stuffed animal Jasper will probably be requiring some minor surgery involving a needle and thread. And you’ll be happy to know I had the chicken tenders for lunch. They were pretty good.


(P.S. Okay, I know, the chicken tenders info is probably not actually making you that happy.)



Friday, August 29, 2014

Is That The Alarm I Just Triggered?

As I was walking around the church, locking some doors and closing the building—following our service this evening—the security system was suddenly triggered and a loud alarm began blaring.

It turns out that Ms. Andrea and Rachel thought I was already gone. Not realizing that I was still in the building, they armed the security system and left.

So, there I was in the church with a very loud alarm sounding. I chuckled at how simple mishaps can occur and after Nadia came down to the police station and posted bail, we have continued to have a good laugh about the whole matter.

Restoring Community

We were made to live life experiencing community with God and with other people.  Unfortunately, fear, pride and selfishness can frequently result in breakdowns in community.  The good news is that God’s love, the worship of God and serving others humbly brings restoration to community.

Wednesday, August 27, 2014

Keeping Me Company At Walmart

I went to Walmart to pick up my medications. As I was checking out I noticed that one of the medications was missing.

The technician who was helping me said, "We can fill the missing prescription but it will take about 15 minutes. Can you wait?"

I said, "Yeah, I can wait."

So that's how I found myself wandering around Walmart killing time. I quickly wound up in the DVD section and after looking around a bit I glanced at my watch and noticed that 6 minutes and 27 seconds passed. I let out a deep sigh. I was thinking that, for sure, about 15 or 16 minutes had elapsed.

No such luck.

Eight minutes and thirty three seconds to go! Now what?

I hit myself in the forehead. The answer was obvious. Write a story about this fun experience and post it online. (By the way I should have been just a little bit softer with the hit to the forehead. I think I'm going to have a red mark.)

Anyhow I've written this story and I'm preparing to post it and... hey, look! Seventeen minutes have passed! Time to go pick up that other prescription.

It's been nice talking with you. Thanks for keeping me company.

Tuesday, August 26, 2014

There Are Always More Possibilities

We may look at the difficult circumstances of life and conclude that there is no way forward. It may seem we have exhausted all the possibilities for resolving the difficulty and making progress. But it’s helpful for us to know that possibilities still exist. Because we are human we have limitations. So, we always see only part of the full picture. There are options that we simply have not considered.

Ironically, we may actually close ourselves off to possibilities by believing there are no more possibilities available to us.

Let’s pray for God to open our eyes to ideas, approaches and potentiality that we do not yet see.

“There are always more possibilities than our eyes can see.” Laurie Beth Jones


Sunday, August 24, 2014

Being A Juror

Well, the trial is over. The jury has been dismissed and I'm on my way home. That's the lovely Chicago River you see in the photo.  (I crossed that bridge on my way to the train station.)

I must say, the trial ended up going in a very unusual direction. In a surprise ruling, the judge and jury both found that the entire matter was, somehow, my fault.

"But I'm not even on trial, I'm a juror!" I protested.

"I know, that's what makes this such a surprise," said the judge. And he hit me several times with his gavel. (I'm fairly sure he's not allowed to do that.)

I've been ordered to pay the plaintiff, defendant, judge and jury an undisclosed amount. In addition, I've been instructed to "lay off the sweets." (That seems unnecessarily mean, doesn't it?)

I'm still not even sure how all of this happened but I'm really hoping that I've learned my lesson.

Saturday, August 23, 2014

I'm Not A Kill Bill Expert

When I walked up to the checkout counter two of the checkout clerks and one bagger were talking, very softly, about the movie, Kill Bill. I think they didn’t want a customer to know that’s what they were doing. So, as I got close they stopped talking and tried to look casual.

I walked up and said, “Alright! Kill Bill! Yes!!!” 

That broke the tension and they all laughed.

The bagger asked, “Have you seen Kill Bill?”

I said, “Yeah, I like movies that have martial arts.”

Then she mentioned some detail regarding a scene in the movie. Apparently, she had seen the movie many times. Unfortunately, I could not recall the detail she was referring to. In fact, at first, I couldn’t even recall the scene, at all.

She looked at her two co-workers with an expression that seemed to say, “This poor sap isn’t a true Kill Bill aficionado. He doesn’t have a clue.”

One of the check-out clerks shook his head, sadly.

I wanted to say, “I’ve seen the movie. Really!  I have!  It’s just that it’s been a while!”  But it was too late. My lack of expertise about the film had been clearly revealed. So, I took my bag of groceries, hung my head in shame and walked out to my car.

I learned a painful lesson:  Be careful when jumping into discussions about movies.


Thursday, August 21, 2014

I Have Hit Password Overload

It’s official.  I have now hit “password overload.”  I simply cannot come up with any more usernames and passwords.  I can’t do it.  I discovered my “password overload” when I hit another online site that requested I create and enter a unique username and password.  I fell to the ground sobbing and clutching my chest. 

The nurse who sits in my office all day keeping an eye on me looked at me lying on the ground and said, “Yep, that’s classic password overload.”

Then she slipped out to have a smoke.


Really Boring TV

I was watching TV for about 2 hours this evening thinking, “Man, there is nothing interesting on the tube tonight. This is pathetic!”

Then I realized someone had moved the television and I had been looking out the window.



God Is In Charge And He Knows What's Best

It is extremely irritating and offensive to our human pride to recognize that God is running the universe and that He does not require our input in order to run things properly.  That’s why it’s helpful to realize that He genuinely cares about us and He knows what is best for us.

Monday, August 18, 2014

Simple Pleasures... Like Lip-Synching "Babe"

I’ve heard that the simple pleasures in life are the best.  I think I may have experienced one of those simple pleasures today.

While Rachel and I were riding in the car, earlier today, the song “Babe” by Styx came on the radio.  For reasons that don’t matter right now, I know this song well.  So, I proceeded to lip synch the song including hand gestures matching the lyrics.  These antics were punctuated with me loudly and dramatically singing the word “babe” every time it occurred in the song. 

(By the way, the word “babe” occurs a lot in the song “Babe.”  I know that may seem obvious, but everyone who reads this may not be familiar with Babe…which, come to think of it, is a shame because it’s a nice little ballad.)

You might be thinking, “Gee Dan, it almost sounds as if you were making a fool of yourself.”

My response to that comment would be:  “Almost?”

However, this was cracking Rachel up.  That’s what made it fun for me.  She really found this to be amusing.

So, there we were driving down the road with me lip-synching and performing hand gestures to the song Babe while Rachel laughed and laughed.  Oh sure, we hit a few signs and knocked down a couple of mail boxes, but we all know that’s the price you have to pay, sometimes, for a good laugh!

It was definitely a simple pleasure—it might even be appropriate to call it a dumb pleasure. 

But it was fun.

…And that beats driving around with a frown while getting irritated at traffic.


Don't Be Discouraged

A guy named Paul wrote the following words:

“We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed.”  2 Corinthians 4:8-9

Some of the most optimistic people I know can, sometimes, look at the conditions of our world and be discouraged.  Or, they may be dealing with circumstances in their own lives that seem overwhelming and, again, a sense of despair can occur.

Paul’s circumstances were about as difficult as they get.  Discouragement would have been an understandable response for him.  But he did not descend into despair.

Paul writes further on the matter, based on his faith in Christ:

“Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.”  2 Corinthians 4:16-18



Friday, August 15, 2014

A Long Drive Results In A Terrific Decision

Driving from South Barrington to Oak Lawn would typically take approximately one hour.  As anyone who lives in Chicago knows, however, the driving time depends on traffic conditions.   If traffic conditions are really congested the drive could be significantly longer.

Tonight on my way back from a conference I was attending, the drive from South Barrington to Oak Lawn took two and a half hours!   (Yes, you’re reading that correctly.  A one hour drive wound up taking two and a half hours.  I grew a nifty beard during the trip, which is helpful because I was pulling the hair out of the top of my head.)

There were times when we came to a complete stop for about 30 or 40 seconds, then slowly inched forward the length of 4 vehicles, only to completely stop again for about 30 or 40 seconds.  This pattern repeated over and over again for miles.  It was exasperating!  Turtles were racing past me, laughing.

So, you probably won’t be surprised to know that I’ve decided to get a helicopter.  It makes a lot of sense, doesn’t it?  I’ve heard you can get a used one for a decent price if you keep your eyes open and regularly check Craig’s List. 

The Driver’s Ed course I took in high school spent several weeks covering helicopter piloting—as I’m sure yours did.  Oh, I’ll have to brush up again because it’s been a while, sure, but I’m looking forward to getting back into the pilot’s seat.

I’m kicking myself because I should have thought about doing this years ago.  It’s going to be a real time saver!


Thursday, August 14, 2014

A Minute And A Half of God Stuff Podcast - No. 45

Good things come from God.

                               Click here for podcast!


I'm Not Dejected. Really.

I was staring off into space, lost in thought, at the conclusion of today’s final session at a large leadership conference I’m attending.  My thoughts were interrupted when a woman said to me, “Are you alright?”

My mind snapped back to the present.  “Oh, yes.  I’m fine.  Thank you.” I replied.

“Are you sure?” she asked.

Her persistence caused me to start wondering.  Maybe I’m not doing very well and I don’t even know it.  So, I thought about it for a moment—determined that I really was alright—and said, “Yes, I’m alright.”

Very kindly and gently, she said, “Because you looked a little… [she hesitated, and then practically whispered] …a little dejected.”  And she cocked her head and nodded as if to say, “It’s alright.  This is a safe place.”

“No.  Really.  I’m okay.  Thank you for being so caring and concerned.  That’s very nice of you.”  I said.  But even as the words were coming out of my mouth I thought, “You sound like you’re protesting a little too vigorously.  You sound like someone who is hurting but doesn’t want to admit it.”

“Alright.” she said.  And she patted my arm the way you pat someone’s arm when they won’t admit they are hurting.

As we parted ways I had the distinct impression that she thought I was simply denying my true feelings.  In fact, since she was such a thoughtful person I figured, “She probably said a nice little prayer for me as she walked away.”

But you know what?  That’s okay.  I don’t mind someone saying a prayer on my behalf.  In fact, that’s pretty nice.

However, it occurs to me that, perhaps, I need to smile a little bit more.  Apparently, I’m walking around looking dejected and I don’t even realize it.


Monday, August 11, 2014

The Genius of Robin Williams

I remember watching Robin Williams come out onto the set of the Letterman show, one time, and hilarious, high-energy, comic chaos ensued.  It was bedlam.  Can bedlam be funny?  Well, this was funny bedlam.  Even Letterman—who can pretty much enter into comic verbal sparring with anyone—just sat back, smiling and let him riff.  It seemed like his mind could fly from one funny idea to the other, making brilliant connections and launching into characters and voices instantaneously.  His gift was truly rare.

Years ago, a friend told me he had seen Robin in a club in the early 80s.  This person said Robin had the audience cracking up, of course.  But the crowd, according to my friend, was also in awe as they watched him.  Robin had a unique ability to stand on a stage, all by himself, and improvise extraordinary comedy out of thin air.  It is not an exaggeration to say that he was a comic genius.

It is heartbreaking to know that Robin Williams is gone.  Our world can always use a little more laughter and that is something Robin gave us with dazzling charm.


Sunday, August 10, 2014

Cultivating Thankfulness Will Bring Joy Into Our Lives

Genuine thankfulness is an important aspect of the response of our hearts to the good things, large and small, that come into our lives.  In fact, if we cannot honestly experience gratitude then the good things in our lives are significantly diminished.  The good is not fully experienced if it is not deeply appreciated.

I want to be a thankful person.  (Occasionally I am.  But I have room for growth in this area.)

We can cultivate thankfulness.  In other words, we can practice the discipline of learning to bring thankfulness to mind.  We can learn to see with eyes of appreciation as we engage with life each day.  This will bring greater joy into our lives. 

(Thankfulness really will bring greater joy, this is not just some pious-sounding attempt at happy talk.)

Prayer:  “Lord, help us to see the many good things in our lives.  And even though life certainly has its struggles, help us to appreciate how incredibly blessed we are.”

Wednesday, August 6, 2014

We're Pretty Good At Deceiving Ourselves

In order to live with ourselves we, sometimes, feel a desire to figure out ways to justify certain things that we’ve done, or maybe even things that we’re still doing.

Occasionally, when I observe people making their justifications I will think, “Are you kidding me?  That is such a flimsy excuse.  It’s obvious that what you’re doing is wrong and, in a sense, you know it’s wrong but you are desperately reaching for this weak rationalization to try to convince yourself it is alright.”

Then I shake my head and think, “Gee whiz, wake up! It’s amazing how people are so capable of deceiving themselves.”

But every now and then, when this happens, God will nudge me and this realization will come:  “Hey, you do this same type of rationalizing and justifying, too, Dan.”

If this happens to be one of those moments when I am willing to be very honest, I shake my head and think, “Gee whiz, wake up!  It’s amazing how I am so capable of deceiving myself.”


Tuesday, August 5, 2014

Finding Joy In the Simple Things

If we require major changes in the basic circumstances of life and significant events—like winning a million dollars—in order to find real joy, then it will tend to elude us.  Joy, in life, is typically experienced in simple moments, it involves taking pleasure in little things.  So, I hope you notice lots of things to bring laughter and joy into your life today.  A great place to begin is to remember that God loves you.

Monday, August 4, 2014

Hold It! It's Just A Creepy Doll!!!

Earlier today we found a doll that was given to Rachel when she was a little girl.  It’s one of those baby dolls that looks very realistic. 

(Rachel had a similar type of doll when we were on an airliner last summer and as people boarded the plane some of them saw the doll and did a frightened double-take because it looked realistic in a slightly creepy way.  But that’s a story for another day.)

The doll was in a large storage bin in our basement and had been long forgotten.  Rachel was very excited when it was found.  So, it goes without saying that Rachel and I had to go to a store and get some baby “supplies” for her new doll. 

That’s how I found myself in the “baby” section of Target buying a newborn outfit, baby pacifier and tiny baby shoes.

At one point Rachel was trying to get me to buy baby formula.  I did not want to buy baby formula for this doll because it really bothers me to waste money in that way.  I have other more important ways of wasting money.

Referring to the doll Rachel said, “She needs to have food!”

A woman came around the corner, into our aisle, right as Rachel was making this plea and she heard me reply to Rachel, in a slightly irritated voice, “She doesn’t need to eat.  That’s a waste of money!”

The woman looked at our shopping cart filled with an infant outfit, baby pacifier and tiny baby shoes.  And then glared at me with a disgusted look on her face and turned and walked in the other direction.

I wanted to run after her and say, “No.  Wait.  You don’t understand.  I’m not talking about a real baby.  I’m talking about a weird, creepy doll!” 

But sometimes it’s better to just leave well enough alone.


Saturday, August 2, 2014

This Is Pretty Fascinating... I Think... Maybe

I read this statement online recently:  “People vastly overestimate how interesting they are.” 

It made me laugh.  I laughed, in part, because I think it’s an amusing observation. 

However, I also found it amusing because I want to believe I am interesting.  But if people tend to overestimate how interesting they are then I’m probably not as interesting as I think I am. 

In fact, I believed that even my very thoughts at the moment—thoughts about whether or not I was interesting—were fairly interesting.  But they probably were not that interesting because it is likely I was overestimating how interesting these thoughts were.

Then, it occurred to me, “I should share these observations in a post, even though the post will probably not be as interesting as I am hoping it will be, considering how we vastly overestimate these matters.”

This is the resulting post.  Fascinating, huh?